


Hurt

by Deimos_Ovid



Category: Voltron - Fandom
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), Hurt Lance, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, shance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-19 16:32:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 28,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13708317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deimos_Ovid/pseuds/Deimos_Ovid
Summary: Let's play a game:Lance is _______.Allura: Immature.Shiro: Childish.Coran: Soft-hearted.Keith: Annoying.Pidge: Dumb.Hunk: One of a kind.Lance: Broken...Langst fanfiction. I swear Lance is my favorite character but, no one can be that happy without wearing a mask. Idk. I am just writing for me





	1. Chapter 1

\---Lance's POV---*Crystal Venom*  
Coran was rambling about his times at a camp where he did nothing but clean healing pods. I was scrubbing the interior of the pod when it closed and deactivated. Leaving me trapped in the darkness of the pod.   
"Coran! CORAN! CORAN! Please are you there? Coran? Please help me!"  
I pounded my hands against the metal. My hands started bleeding but, I didn't stop.   
Aww, does little Lancy not like being all alone? It's okay. You'll always have us.  
"No! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" I yelled banging even harder against the pod. Blood trailed down my arms and dropped down onto my face. I was sobbing.   
What you don't like tight spaces? You don't like that the walls are closing in on you? That it's getting hard to breathe? Oh, come on Lance don't you love this feeling? Do you know what it reminds me of? You do remember don't you?  
"Sh-shut up!" I was hyperventilating. I need air. I need to breathe. The walls are closing in though. The walls are going to smother me if I don't suffocate.   
There we go. That's it. Keep panicking. You do remember this feeling, don't you?  
Shut up...I don't want to remember.   
This feeling reminds you of wha-  
"SHUT UP!" I yell.   
It reminds you of your father...  
He can't hurt me. He can't hurt me because I'm in space. He can't hurt me here.   
"He can't hurt me here!"  
Oh, but you're wrong. So very wrong. He can't hurt you but, you can. Don't you remember the good old days? The coolness of the blade? The feel of it against your skin? The need...  
"Nonononononononono..." I was mumbling to myself. "I m-made a pro-promise. That I w-wouldn't do that a-again."  
That promise was made on Earth. You're in outer spac-  
"NO! NONONONONONO!!! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! shut up..."  
I couldn't get enough air. My vision was going black and then something grabbed me.   
"Lance! Lance are you all right? Lance? Lance answer me, my boy!" Coran was yelling for help.   
Soon everybody was here and I was still hyperventilating and curling up in a fetal position.   
"Lance, listen to me." Hunk talked, "Buddy, I need you to calm down. You are safe now." Hunk's voice was soothing.   
"H-he c-can't g-get m-me h-here, r-right?" I wheeze out between gasp for air.   
"There is no way he can get you here. I won't let him. Now, breathe with me." Hunk sucked in air and exhaled air. I did my best to copy but, my body was still shaking.   
"Hey, you got your hands pretty banged up there. Do you want me to patch you up?" Hunk offered.   
I nodded my head slowly.   
"Is it okay for me to touch you?"  
Again I slowly nodded my head. I was staring blankly. He can't get me here.   
"Lance is it all right if I leave to get some of the medical supplies?"  
The walls are closing in.   
"No." Don't leave me alone again.   
"Alright. Shiro, do you mind getting the supplies?" Hunk responded softly.   
"Okay, yeah. Sure."   
I'm going to die. I can't get enough air.   
"-ance. Lance, breathe with me. Deep breath in. Deep breath out." Hunk looked me in the eyes, "Focus Lance. You are out. You are safe. You got out." Hunk starts to take deep breaths with Lance.   
\---Shiro's POV---  
I cane back with the supplies and just stood off in the distances with everyone else. We all watch Hunk as he calms Lance down. It hurt to see Lance this way. To see him so hurt. So broken. Lance was always happy and to see him as this sobbing wreck is awful. Hunk gets Lance to fell asleep and instead of bringing him to his room. Hunk puts Lance down on the ground in the observatory. Pidge went and got a pillow and blanket to help make Lance comfortable. Hunk left the room and we all trailed after him.   
"Hunk what happened to Lance?" I ask.   
"It's not my place to tell but, let's just say Lance hasn't had the most happiest of childhoods. I only know this because his Mama told me to keep an eye on him. Guys, it's not that Lance doesn't trust you. It's that he...well...he doesn't want to relive it. Whatever you do, do not, bug him about it. Okay?"  
"Yeah. Okay." We all agree. What has happened to Lance that could cause him to have a meltdown?  
\---Lance's POV---  
I woke up in open space. Wait, no. I am gazing up at the stars through the observatory.   
"Lance, come on Lance. We're all waiting for you. Just follow the lights to us." Allura's voice beckoned me.   
"Alright. Alright. I'm coming." I got up and followed the lights. The my led me to the air locks.   
"Hey, guys what are we doing so far down here?" I ask yawning as I enter the airlock. When I open my eyes from yawning I saw how no one else was in here. Just as I turn around and the airlock door seals shut. No. Not again.   
"Airlock will release in tee minus thirty seconds."  
"Guys! HELP! Please! Help me! GUYS! HUNK! CORAN! SHIRO! PIDGE! ALLURA! KEITH! Please. Help me." I pounded against the glass with my fists. Blood was left where my fist hit the glass.   
"Airlock will open in tee minus fifteen seconds."  
My tears and blood drip down onto the floor.   
I've missed you. Have you missed me? Let's catch up on the good old days, shall we?   
And the memories of how I got my scars came flooded into my mind and I screamed in the newly found pain. 

\---Keith's POV---*a few minutes earlier*  
I was training when the gladiators started glitching. One of them nearly took my head out.   
"End training sequence!" I yelled. But the gladiators kept coming at me.   
"End training sequence!" And again to robot kept fighting me. I was run out of the training room and into the air locks. I made it down to the end of the hallway and saw Lance trapped in the last airlock.   
"Airlock will open in tee minus five seconds."  
And I had an idea. I opened the airlock door and the robot was flung out into space as a clung to the wall holding onto Lance as well. Then I pressed the button and it closed the air lock.   
"Lance, Lance? Are you all right?"  
"I'm fine." He mumbles.   
"That's bullshit and we both know it." I was getting angry.   
"I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fi-" He starts chanting.   
"Enough Lance! You are not fine. It's alright to show people that you aren't okay."  
"I'm fine."   
It's like he's a broken record player. I'll get Hunk to help with this.   
"Lance, I'm going to carry you, okay?"  
I picked him up and started running to Hunk.   
"HUNK! Hunk! Where are you? I need you." I yell.   
Hunk comes barreling down the hallway.   
"Keith, what is it? Oh my Moon! Lance!? Keith what happened?" Hunk took Lance from my arms.   
"I don't know the castle has a glitch or something because the gladiator just attacked me, Lance was trapped in a heeling pod, and then he was trapped in an airlock."  
"He was trapped in the airlock!?" Hunk was fuming. I've never seen such a gentle person turn into such an angry and terrifying being.   
"I'm fine." Lance's voice sounded completely drained of emotion.   
"Stop lying Lance! You aren't fine."  
The castle's sirens started up and we both raced to the control room. Allura was there operating the ship trying to wormhole us into another dimension.   
\---timeskip the Team managed to talk Allura out of it and the castle was safe---  
\---Keith's POV---  
"I'm fine." Lance mumbled. After Shiro asked him an extensive list of questions. The only answer was, 'I'm fine.'  
"Paladins, I believe it's time we try the other option."  
"Which is?" Hunk dragged out the question.   
"We enter his mind. We can't help him if we don't know what's wrong." Allura argued.   
Everyone agreed but, Hunk needed a little more persuasion. But I brought up the point that the more Hunk knew what was wrong the more he could help Lance.   
We all agreed and set up the mind sharing machine.


	2. Chapter 2

\---Lance's memories---  
"Lancy, it's not fair I want a toy car!" Simon yelled. His tantrum bursted Lance's eardrums. The eight year old boy was already trying to wrestle his other younger siblings asleep.  
"Simon, if I ask Papa about getting a toy car will you quiet down?"  
The six year old nodded his head vigorously.   
"Alright, I'll ask at dinner."  
"Thank you Lancy!" Then Simon skipped off to the kitchen. And Lance finally got the two four year old twins to go to bed. Lance left the room and went to make lunch for himself and then prepare dinner.   
-  
"You little shit!" An older man slurred out over a straddled little boy beneath him. The boy, Lance, was being strangled. The cries and gasps for help fell upon deaf ears as Lance's siblings and Mother watched.   
"You little shit! You think that because you're a kid your entitled to whatever you want? No. You want something you have to earn it. If you want a 'toy car' then you better work for the money. You have no right to demand for anything." The older man let go of the boy's throat and the kid laid a sprawled on the ground coughing for air.   
-  
The small boy was crying into his mother's arms.   
"I'm sorry Mama. I am so sorry. But I can't make you that promise. I'd rather have that thing beat me up then anyone else in the family."   
"Hijo, I forgive you. You are a strong boy. You are the bravest out of all of us. It is okay if you can't keep that promise."  
"Mama, can you promise me one thing? Keep everyone away from me. I don't care if they want to help me. If they want to stop that monster. Keep them away. Otherwise all that I have been doing is for nothing. Please promise me."  
The woman bite her lip.   
"I promise."  
-  
The whip whizzed threw the air and clashed against Lance's back.   
"Thirty t-two" The boy sobbed out. He was hanging against the wall. A hook was attached to the wall and Lance was dangling by the ropes tied against his wrists. The blood from his raw wrists dripped down onto his forehead. Drip, drip, drop. The stead rhythm continued. The whip came clashing down again.   
"T-thirty three." Lance stuttered.   
"Thirty f-four."   
"T-thirty f-five." The whipping stopped and the boy's father left the room. Instantly Lance's mother cut him down. She bandaged his back and then Lance left to go prepare dinner. The mother tried to tell the child to rest but, the boy wouldn't have it. Lance winced and limped as he moved around the kitchen. Never letting anyone know how hurt he really is. Even as his younger siblings tackle Lance. He doesn't so much as cry out in pain. Instead smiles softly and stood up brushing the dirt off of himself and his siblings. Then Lance left the room and entered the bathroom. Pulling out a blade hidden behind the sink. The boy rolled up his sleeve and got to work.   
-  
"You brat! How dare you!" Lance's father bellowed.   
"You want another beer then you have to earn it!" Lance taunted as he poured the beers down the drain.   
"You'll pay for that!"   
"Oh, but you see I did. What did you say to me when I was a boy? Oh yeah, that's right, 'You have no right to demand for anything.' It is my jobs that are keeping this house lit. Not you. You want beer. Get a job and pay for it."  
The older man clobbered Lance.   
"I'm going to cut you with every bottle of beer you poured out." The father broke the beer bottle against a corner and stabbed the teenager with it. Not deep enough for hospitalization but, deep enough to leave a nasty scar. The man did it again and again until there were no more bottles of beer. Once again no one in Lance's family came to his aid. Lance stood up and hobbled over to the bathroom and shoved a rag into his mouth. He then used tweezers to pull the shards of glass out. Then disinfecting it and then pulling out a needle and thread.   
-  
Lance was in the bathroom for a very long time. He wasn't masking his wounds or anything. Instead he was creating the wounds himself. The blade being dragged along his forearm felt exhilarating. It made him in a masochist way feel better. 'When you stare into the abyss long enough. You'll find that the abyss stares back.' For Lance his abyss was pain. Lance would do anything to keep his siblings from feeling any pain. Especially if it's from the monster they call their father. Lance would take the blame for siblings mistakes, he would take their beatings, and most of all Lance made sure none of them knew.   
So, as Lance had come to embrace the pain and inflict it upon himself it made him feel better. Even if it's just for a moment. When the bathroom door creaked open Lance and his mother had an awkward staring contest until she dropped to her knees.   
"L-lance. I am so sorry. I am so sorry that you've become this way. That you are inflicting pain upon yourself. I-I am s-sorry. I s-should have st-stopped your f-father sooner." The woman wailed.   
"Mama please, stop your crying. Please. It hurts me even more then Papa to see you so sad. I'll tell you what. If I promise never to do it again. Will you promise never to blame yourself again?" This nine year old boy was wiser and stronger then his years. The mother nodded her head and they latched onto each other's pinkies. And the pact was made.   
-  
"Happy Birthday to you!" Everyone sang as Lance blew out the candles on his cake. Lance's younger siblings were bouncing in their seats. They've never had cake before. As Lance sliced them all a piece his father's heavy foots steps thumped outside the door.   
"Keep them away Mama. Lock the door."  
The older woman nodded and Lance stood up and opened the door. The birthday boy punched the man fumbling with his keys straight in the face. Lance then closed the door behind him kick the keys inside as he did. The father and son had a fight out in the streets. The police arrived and arrested the man and tried to arrest Lance as well but, the boy escaped.   
-  
The young man laid on the pavement legs a sprawl the fight on his fourteenth Birthday had been a big one. The freezing rain certainly didn't help him much either. The rain and blood dripped down the boy. The blood loss had taken its toll and left Lance incredible weak. Another young man happened to be walking by saw the boy. Instantly he took off his coat and placed it over Lance.   
"Hey, my name is Shiro. You don't look so good. Is it all right if I take you back to my place and get you fixed up?"   
Lance was too weak to even nod his head so, he did the next best thing. He fainted.   
Upon waking up in the kind strangers apartment Lance immediately stood up to leave. He wrote a note thanking the kind stranger for everything and informed him he had to get back to his family. But that the boy would never forget this man's kind actions.   
-  
Lance and his family were finally free of that monster. Lance had given up a lot so, that he could protect everyone and when he had the opportunity to leave and join the Garrison. His Mama wouldn't let him say no. It was Lance's dream after all. Shirogane Takashi, his hero was a pilot and to Lance space would be his grand escape from his father. Lance was still haunted by the awful things the abusive, drunk of a father did to him.  But, Lance learned how to use makeup to hide his wounds, put on a facade to prove to everyone he was fine, and Lance swore to himself that he'd never let anyone threw his walls.   
-  
"I hope I don't need to remind you that the only reason you're here is that the best pilot in your class had a discipline issue and flunked out. Don't follow in his footsteps. Next!"  
-  
"Lance take this seriously!"  
-  
"Real mature, Lance, really."  
-  
"Come on Lance. Knock it off! I asked for your help not for your input."  
-  
"Why do I have to clean the healing pods? It's not like I've been using them." Lance complains.   
"Ahh, I remember when I was your age..." Coran was rambling about his times at a camp where he did nothing but clean healing pods. He was scrubbing the interior of the pod when it closed and deactivated. Leaving Lance trapped in the darkness of the pod.   
"Coran! CORAN! CORAN! Please are you there? Coran? Please help me!"  
The boy pounded his hands against the metal. His hands started bleeding but, he didn't stop.   
Aww, does little Lancy not like being all alone? It's okay. You'll always have us.  
"No! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Lance yelled banging even harder against the pod. Blood trailed down his arms and dropped down onto his face. He was sobbing.   
What you don't like tight spaces? You don't like that the walls are closing in on you? That it's getting hard to breathe? Oh, come on Lance don't you love this feeling? Do you know what it reminds me of? You do remember don't you?  
"Sh-shut up!" The boy was hyperventilating. I need air. I need to breathe. The walls are closing in though. The walls are going to smother me if I don't suffocate. He thought to himself.   
There we go. That's it. Keep panicking. You do remember this feeling, don't you?  
Shut up...I don't want to remember.   
This feeling reminds you of wha-  
"SHUT UP!" Lance yell.   
It reminds you of your father...  
He can't hurt me. He can't hurt me because I'm in space. He can't hurt me here. The boy chanted in his head.   
"He can't hurt me here!"  
Oh, but you're wrong. So very wrong. He can't hurt you but, you can. Don't you remember the good old days? The coolness of the blade? The feel of it against your skin? The need...  
"Nonononononononono..." He was mumbling to himself. "I m-made a    pro-promise. That I w-wouldn't do that a-again."  
That promise was made on Earth. You're in outer spac-  
"NO! NONONONONONO!!! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! shut up..."  
He couldn't get enough air. Lance's vision was going black and then something grabbed him.  
-  
Lance woke up in open space. Wait, no. He is gazing up at the stars through the observatory.   
"Lance, come on Lance. We're all waiting for you. Just follow the lights to us." Allura's voice beckoned the boy.   
"Alright. Alright. I'm coming." Lance got up and followed the lights. They led him to the air locks.   
"Hey, guys what are we doing so far down here?" He asked yawning as he entered the airlock. When he opened his eyes from yawning. The boy saw how no one else was in here. Just as he turn around and the airlock door seals shut. No. Not again.   
"Airlock will release in tee minus thirty seconds."  
"Guys! HELP! Please! Help me! GUYS! HUNK! CORAN! SHIRO! PIDGE! ALLURA! KEITH! Please. Help me." He pounded against the glass with his fists. Blood was left where the boy's fist hit the glass.   
"Airlock will open in tee minus fifteen seconds."  
His tears and blood drip down onto the floor.   
I've missed you. Have you missed me? Let's catch up on the good old days, shall we?   
And the memories of how Lance got all of his scars came flooding into his mind and he screamed in the newly found pain.

\---End of mind meld---


	3. Chapter 3

\---Shiro's POV---  
What we saw was only a fraction of what Lance went through. I was crying and breathing hard. So, Lance was the kid I saved that day. Hunk gasped awake, tears streaming down his face and instantly threw up. Keith woke up next he was crying too. That's something I've only seen once and I never wanted to see again.   
Pidge woke up crying and shivering hugging herself. Allura and Coran woke up at the same time. Both crying and Coran threw up too. Allura was shaking and sobbing. She wrapped her arms around herself. Then Lance shifted and sat up. Everyone was staring at him.   
"Lance, hey buddy. How are you feeling?" I ask.   
"I'm fine." But then he seemed to blink out of his trance, "Hey, why is everyone crying? I'm sorry if I scared you. Being trapped in the airlock brought back some bad memories for me. But why, are you all crying?"  
"Lance, I am so sorry." Allura blurred out.   
"For what?" Lance questioned.   
"For everything that has hap-"  
"STOP! Don't even finish that thought! You've got nothing to apologize for. The castle going coo-coo-bachoo is not your fault."  
"Lance that's not what she's referring to. We wanted to find a way to help you because we couldn't get you to react normally. So, we decided to mind meld and see what the problem was." I tell him softly.   
"You WHAT!?" Lance screams. He looks over to Hunk who was bowing his head in shame. He looks at all of us. Eyes full of rage while everyone looked at him like, he was they're favorite toy and was broken.   
"Stop it! Stop looking at me like that! Stop staring at me like that! You all have violated my privacy and have severed my trust with all of you. The least you could do is look at me like I'm not broken. Does it make your guys lives seem better? Huh? Tell me Shiro does it make you feel like your time with the Galra was better than my time with my family? Tell Keith does it make your life of isolation feel less like a pain? Tell me Pidge does it make you feel better knowing you have family that cares about you? Tell me Hunk does it make you feel better now that you know the truth about my scars? Tell me Allura does it make you appreciate your childhood more? Tell me Coran does it make you feel like the burden of surviving is easing up knowing you could have it much worse?" He stares at us what for a response, "What not so keen on sharing now? What happened, huh? You only saw a glimpse into my past. A glimpse and you all are messes. I have to live with all of it. I have to wake up to these scars! Yet, I still manage to smile. ARGH!!" He clutches his head as sobs racked through his body. "I still get up in the morning like everyone else. You know what I tell myself, 'Others have it worse.' and that's...that's enough for me. I...I can't do this with any of you right now. I can't. I can't." Lance stands up and runs out the doors. I chase after him yelling for him to come back. Lance seals himself in the hanger and climbs into an escape pod. I felt horrible because what he said to me was true. I did feel better about my time with the Galra then the time Lance had with his family. I walked back to the room and I told everyone that Lance left through an escape pod. "I feel so terrible on the inside because what he said to me was the truth. I do feel better." Keith said what we all were feeling.   
"Allura can you track Lance's pod. We need to get to him before something bad happens."  
Allura nodded and arose to her feet still trembling. 

\---Lance's POV---  
I needed to get away from there eyes. The look they would give me was the kind that I hated. I don't need their pity. I don't need their sympathy. They dug around in my head. A purple lighting beamed into my pod. Galra.   
"Great. So quiznaking great. Just what I needed." The tracker beam sucked my pod into the massive ship.   
Immediately I was tied up.   
"Sir we have secured the blue paladin."  
A soldier said to obvious. At that I laughed a little.   
"Excellent. Take him to the throne room. The Prince wants to see him." The commander stated.   
I was dragged and pushed into a throne room.   
"Do you guys ever get sick of seeing the color purple? Like your purple furries, your ships are lite with purple lighting, your technology too. What I'm asking is, do you ever get sick of the color purple?"   
The guard punched me and told me to shut up. Oh, this is, this is just fabulous.  
Right as I was about to continue asking my question. The Prince walked in. He was...handsome. He was different from the rest of the Galra. He was a purple furry but, his ears looked Altean.   
"You're half Altean." I blurted out.   
"That I am. I am Prince Lotor heir to the Galra empire. And who might you be blue paladin?"   
"Would you believe me if I told you that me being in an escape pod full of ancient, Altean tech and gear, was just a coincidence? And that me wearing my blue lion sweater is also a coincidence?"  
"No." Lotor responded amused.   
"Yeah that felt like a long shot even for me." I sigh.   
"So, blue paladin, what might your name be?"  
"Lancelot. But I go by Lance."  
"Well, Lance. I'm feeling generous. If you tell me all the information I want to know then I won't torture you. Your teammates treat you like trash. While I could treat you like a prince that you are. Aren't you sick of it? The way they ignore you, neglect you, and belittle you. Join me and I could show you a better life. A life where you could feel love and be treated as royalty."  
I could finally feel true happiness. I could finally feel free. I want that. No, I need that. But...I won't ever chose it.   
"Sorry to disappoint you but, I'm not going to give up the information willingly. If I am one thing, then I am most definitely the self sacrificing idiot."  
"Pity. You have such a pretty face." He was flirting with me, is that even allowed? I thought we were enemies.   
"Same to you, you royal purple, Legolas-wannabe ass."   
"Oh, I think I'm going to keep you. Guards. Bring him to Haggard." Lotor demanded.   
"Now that's just cruel. I'm going to be tortured and I have to look at Haggard's face?"  
Lotor laughed. An actual laugh.   
"Yes, I think I am going to keep you."  
The guards picked me up and dragged me to the torture room. Once I was strapped to the slanted table Haggard appeared before me and I flinched.   
"You know that was pretty damn scary but, you are a witch with unimaginable magic at your fingertips. Yet, the most dramatic entrance you can think of it appearing before me? Tsk. Next time add more flare to it." I lectured her.   
"Oh? Would you prefer for me to enter the room with bloodied weapons."  
"Hmmm...I don't. That's not very original."   
"I think I'll start by putting a muzzle on you." She said with a cruel smile.   
"I don't think Prince of the Furry Fucks would like that very much." I retort.   
"He is right. I like his spirit and fire. It doesn't hurt either that he's handsome too." Lotor entered the room as if the mere mentioning of his name was enough to summon him.   
"Okay, can you stop flirting with me. We're like, enemies and it's hard to insult you when you deflect it with more flirtations." He is my enemy. He can't be my boyfriend. And he most certainly can't be both.   
"Aw, but that's no fun. I've decided to keep you after you tell me what I want."  
"HA! Like I'd ever tell you anything. Hey, Prince Lotion, why don't you do the honors of taking off my shirt."  
"It is Lotor, my pet. And with pleasure."  
"Motor?" I tease as he walks closer.   
"Lotor." He corrected.   
"Tar?" I ask dumbly.   
"It is Lotor. I suggest you get it right otherwise I think I'll let Haggard put that muzzle on you." He snapped.   
"Yeah yeah." I said brushing it off as if what he said was nothing.   
With a dagger Lotor slices open my sweater and pulls it away. He gasped taking a step back.   
"Good luck trying to get your information." I state cooly. Do I live or do I die? Was all I could think.   
\---Lotor's POV---  
I stared at the bare chested boy. He had scars covering every inch of his well toned body. It looks like mine but, way more severe.   
"Who has done this to you!?" I demanded. But he remained silent.   
I dragged the knife along his ribs and he screamed.   
"Tell me and I'll stop."  
I did it again and again. Twisting the knife and dragging it through the cuts I've made. And all Lance did was screaming. Haggard healed him and left Lance with more scars.   
"Tell me and I'll stop it." His blood dripped down my hands. I looked to Haggard and nodded my head. She began shooting electricity at Lance. All he did was screaming. He didn't beg for it to stop. He didn't beg for me to kill him. He was crying but, he remained silent. I began wiping his blood off my hands. He's not going to tell me.   
"HEY! FURRY FUCK-" Lance called out before another screamed ripped through him, "WHATEVER YOU D-" Another scream, "DO TO ME! I CAN TAKE IT!"  
"Hmm, this isn't working Haggard, stop." Haggard ceased.   
"Y-you k-know w-what's f-funny?" He laughed. His voice was raspy and hoarse.   
"No. But why don't you tell me?"   
"T-that your t-thinking f-face looks l-like y-your t-trying t-too hard t-to take a-a crap." His laugh was a wheeze and he smiled like that was the funniest thing he'd ever seen.  
"Haggard, muzzle him and continue to torture him until I tell you to stop."  
"Yes, sire." She snapped her fingers and a muzzle that latches on with metal clamps appeared. It was decorated to like he had fangs.   
Haggard slowly placed the muzzle on his faces and he let out a whimper as the latches dug into his skin. Then Haggard began to electrocute the scarred boy with her magic. He wanted to scream but, his mouth was clamped shut and muffled noises were all you could hear. It went on like this for hours. When Lance passed out Haggard brought him back and continued.   
I waved my hand and Haggard stopped. I walk over to Lance and removed the muzzle. He was smiling.   
"What is so funny now?"  
"T-there's a b-budge i-in y-your p-pants." I looked down but, there wasn't a budge in my pants.   
The tanned boy laughed and his face stretched into a smile blood fell down his cheeks faster.   
"M-made y-you look." He was snickering. I actually fell for that? "Leave us." I shouted to Haggard. I growled in anger but, then an idea came to my mind.   
"How about you and I make this budge appear real?" I want to see the spark of fear in his eyes.   
He stopped laughing and deadpanned,  
"You must b-be so desperate and a-alone i-if y-you have t-to sleep with your p-prisoners. I-in o-order to h-have sex." He should no sign of fear.   
I growled in response,  
"What are you afraid of? Not torture, not death, not rape. What are you afraid of, Lancelot the Blue Paladin?"  
"Tell y-you what y-you a-answer one o-of my q-questions a-and I'll answer y-your f-first question." Lance bargained. This could be a good start to finally getting some answers.   
"I accept. Ask away."  
"C-come c-closer so I-I w-won't s-stutter s-so much."  
I stepped so close that my mouth was next to his ear.   
"Vrepit Sa, motherfucker." Lance whispered into my ear. Before I could react Lance's hands cupped the back of my head and chin.   
\---Lance's POV---  
Haggard's magic short circuited the tables handcuffs. I had maintained this position though. If I slipped up then I wouldn't be able to make my escape. So it took everything in me not to move or collapse from exhaustion. Do I live or do I die?  
"I accept. Ask away." Lotor said after giving it some thought.   
"C-come c-closer so I-I w-won't s-stutter s-so much." I wasted not a moments breath. Live or die?  
He stepped so close that his mouth was next to my ear.   
"Vrepit Sa, motherfucker." I whispered into his ear. Before he could react my hands cupped the back of his head and chin. And I used all my strength to snap it. Snap. I felt the crack and watched as he and I both fell to the ground. I choose to live. I landed on my knees and he laid a sprawled. Blood pooled out of his mouth. Even in Death he still looks beautiful. A pity he had to die.   
I stood up and left. I managed to make it to the escape pods and launch out into space before the alarms sounded. The ship fired at me and a laser hit me in the gut. And as I flew as fast as I could and I wound up crashing into...a red lion.  
"Keith..." I breathe out but, couldn't stay awake any longer. I fell into a dreamless sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

\---Keith's POV---  
Just as we finished wormholing to Lance's location a Galra escape pod crashed into Red.   
"Lance!" I yelled. I piloted Red to open his mouth and grab onto the ship. Then I quickly headed back to the castle. My teammates trailing right behind me. The second the air was breathable I ran down the ramp and pried open the pod. Lance was bleeding out from several places but, the major one was the shot through his stomach.   
"Lance! Lance! You're going to be all right now Lance! I've got you!" I scooped him up and ran to the healing pods. Coran had already set up a pod and I gently placed Lance in it. Then stood back as the pod sealed shut.  
"Stupid idiot. He won't even let us rescue him." I mumble then turn to Coran, "Coran can you tell me all his injuries."  
"He was cut with a blade along his ribs, repeatedly. The scarring is too wide to be from just one cut so, the blade was dragged through the wound repeatedly. His face had something pressed against it enough to fracture his cheekbones. Lance seems to have some singed hair so they probably electrocuted him with Haggard's magic. I think he got shot at while he was escaping. That is it for physically. I don't know about mentally. He'll be in there for two days. Don't worry I added a drug to the pod so Lance will be in a drug induced sleep. No nightmares. We just have to wait. Keith, Lance will be fine. We have him now, so he'll be safe."  
He is safe. Now, that Lance is here. He is safe.   
"Thank you Coran." I say as I hug him. Coran petted my hair and said you're welcome back to me.   
The rest of the gang came barging into the room.   
"Is he going to be all right?" Shiro asked panting.   
"He's going to be fine. Physically speaking, mentally we are unsure." I reply.   
Hunk and Pidge looked both relieved and confused.   
While Shiro stared at Lance. He and Lance are probably going to have a lot in common now.   
"How long will he be in there?" Shiro asked quietly.   
"About two days. Don't worry Shiro he is in drug induced sleep, so no nightmares this time. He is safe now that he is with us again."  
Shiro nodded.   
\----two days later---  
\---Lance's POV---  
It's dark and I'm alone.   
"Please...I don't want to be alone anymore..."  
"Lance!" A voice softly singsongs.   
"Lance, come on everyone's waiting for you!"   
"F-for me?"  
"Yes. For you. Come on, open your eyes."  
-  
"Hey, Lance you okay?" A male voice ask me. Shiro.   
"I am now." I flirt back.   
"Stop lying!" Keith yelled. I flinched.   
"Oh, Lance...I'm sorry. It's just so...hard. To see you look like you're on the brink of death and still try to tell us you're okay. Please...don't lie to us anymore." Keith was crying. And my cheeks felt heavy.   
"Lance," Shiro began, "Keith could have been gentler about that. But...he is  right. You have to let us in. You have to let us help you. Or at least let one of us help you."  
"I-I'm s-sorry. It's-It's a d-defensive     r-reaction." I cry out.   
"Hey, hey. Lance it's okay. I'm sorry we yelled at you." Shiro tried to comfort me. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a tight hug.   
"I-I killed s-someone, Sh-Shiro...I-I snapped h-his neck. I f-felt h-him d-die. A-and the on-ly th-thing I t-thought w-was how b-beautiful he-he looked in d-death." I was sobbing, hard.   
\---Shiro's POV---  
"You did it so you could survive. It's all right. You had to do it."  
Lance screamed,  
"It's everywhere. Get-get it off. Get it off me."  
"Calm down, Lance. Talk me through what's happening." I said calmly easing him to the ground.   
"T-the blood. The blood. My blood.  It's-It's everywhere." His voice was as soft as a baby deer. His deep blue eyes were wide and he was shaking. Running his hands up and down his arms.   
"Lance, it's all right. Do you want to know the secret to get the blood to go away?" I cooed.   
"Y-yeah. I want it to go away. Make it go away." He begged softly. Lance's eyes were crushing me.   
"This is the trick..." and gently I pressed my lips against his. My thumb softly caressing his scarred cheek. His breath hitched and I pulled back.   
"Better?" I ask quietly.   
"H-his name w-was Lotor." Lance whispered and Allura gasped,   
"You killed Zarkon's only son..."  
Lance looked sick.   
"Shiro, p-please...I had to. I had to. You said so yourself. I had to." Lance was broken.   
"Yeah, and you were brave as hell for doing so."  
Lance was laughing hysterically and sobbing too.   
"What is so funny? Lance talk to me here."  
"You-you cursed...Our f-fearless leader c-cursed. What n-next you'll p-put vodka i-in y-your coffee?" I smiled and everyone else was chuckling too.   
"Alright. Alright. That's enough excitement for one day. Lance you're going to bed. Can you stand?"  
Lance shook his head no. So, I scooped him up.   
He curled up into my chest.   
"Shiro...don't leave me..."  
"Okay, I'll stay."  
I laid down on the bed and he once again curled up against me.   
\---next morning---  
Lance wasn't sleep next to me. Instead...he was sitting in the corner hyperventilating.   
"Lance! Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. You're safe. You got out. You saved yourself. Now, you're so close to escaping all this. All you need is a hand to pull you out. All you need is a lifeline."  
Lance was staring at me.   
"You are my lifeline. And if I could get through it then so can you." I told him.   
"Shiro? I n-need you t-to gather           e-everyone."  
"Alright." I scooped him up. He's so light. Carefully, I placed him on the couch in the castle's living room.   
I rounded everybody up and we all surrounded Lance. 

\---Lance's POV---  
I was going to tell them. They deserve to know. As my teammates and as my friends they deserve to know the truth.   
"You all deserve to know the truth. You all deserve to hear it from me." So, I told them. It came pouring out of me. I started with my childhood and worked my way threw it. My voice was steady in the beginning. Yet, I wound up stuttering and sobbing in the end.   
"LoTOr WAS eViL! I-I KnEW thAt! BUt, aLL HE wanted TO K-KnOw waS WhERE I gOT A-All MY scars FrOM. He FLIRTED wIth Me. HE p-pRoMisED tO s-sPaRE me from ThE t-torture IF I j-just ToLd hIM! But...but...but....I cOulDn't. I WOuldn't. 

"HE muZzlEd me. HE toRTuREd tHen heAleD theN tortured ME agaIN aNd agAiN. ThE entire tiME I toLd hiM noTHing. NOTHING! Lotor wAs piSSed tHat I tolD him NothinG and orDEred HAGgard t-to tORturE me wiTH her mAGic. He ORdered heR to cOnTinuE TO torture me UntIl he sAid to STop. WhiLE she elecTROcuted ME wiTh her d-dark magIC it short             c-circuited the...the table after FOUR HOURS of just STAYING in that position. For TWO hours! I stayed sTILl. Then whEN she w-was oRDered TO stop-p and l-leave." My voice but, a whisper,   
"I was about to sag with relief. But-but I couldn't. If-if I did then I could escape. So, I teased Lotor to show he didn't break me. Then offered a deal tricking him to come close to me. I tried to imagine what you would do Shiro. What you would do Keith. So, I whispered into his ear, 'Vrepit Sa, motherfucker.' and...and I snapped his neck. He was still a prince in death. He was beautiful and twisted. He was sick and cruel but, I c-could have stopped it a-at any time but s-so could he. So, when I killed him. Apart of m-me died w-with him too. B-but I had to do it otherwise I could never see y-you guys again. Heh, i-if there is one thing I-I am good a-at it's being t-the self-sacrificing i-idiot. I decided to live for all of y-you. And-and I got up and snuck out to an escape pod. The alarms started blaring. They were so loud! Lasers were shot at me as I left. Guess H-Haggard found the Prince.  O-one of the lasers hit me in the s-stomach and that's when I c-crashed into you guys."

Everyone stared at me. The silence was maddening. Everyone looked pale. Hunk threw up and that broke the silence. Shiro was sobbing and hugging me. Then everyone else was hugging me.   
"Thank you Lance." Shiro said softly.   
"For what?"   
"For living. For surviving. For being the greatest human being in space and on earth."  
"There i-is no need t-to thank me." I mutter.   
"There is every reason to. You deserve to be treated better and Lance if you let me. I'll treat you the way you deserve to be treated."  
"W-what are you asking me?" I stutter.   
"Will you be my boyfriend?"   
Yes. A thousand times yes.   
"Yes, please."  
Everyone in the room cheered. Quiznak! I forgot that they were still here.  
"ATTENTION VOLTRON! IF YOU HAND OVER THE BLUE PALADIN THEN THE REST OF YOU WILL LIVE!" A deep voice boomed.   
"No...no...He can't be here. Coran! Coran! Find King Alfor and tell him Zarkon has arrived! Then send out a distress signal." Allura first panicked then ordered.   
"Allura, listen to me," Coran stood in front of her wrapping her into a hug, "Altea was destroyed. Your father sealed you away in this castle and died trying to defeat Zarkon. You and I survived because King Alfor did it to save us. Now, we can't disrespect the last things he did by destroying it all. You need to calm down and fly the ship. Alright?" Allura looked up at Coran who was not crying but, instead fuming. I've never seen Coran look so terrifying. Allura snapped out of her episode and nodded her head. She ran out of the room.   
"Sh-Shiro?" I call out to him softly.   
"Hey, it's going to be okay. We'd never give you up unless we're all dead. Or gravely injured." Shiro calmly stated.   
"You a-and I both know I-I'd never l-let it come t-to that..." I mumble out.   
"So what!? You are the only one who can be the self sacrificing idiot? The only one who gets to die? No, I don't think so buddy! We are your friends! And we are not going to let Zarkon take you."  
And then my world  
E  
     X  
          P  
               L  
                    O  
                         D  
                              E  
                                   D


	5. Chapter 5

\---Lance's POV---  
The bomb blew up the side of the ship. Shiro wrapped his body around me protectively. Then when he felt that it was all clear he began giving out orders,  
"Alright team! Get suited up and get to your lions. We don't know the damage the Castle has taken so, be careful. Now, get going except for you Lance. You're staying here." Everyone was running out.   
"Like hell I am!" I yelled, "There is no way I am going to just...just sit around and w-watch you guys fight. You need me to form Voltron." I was on my feet but, the rush of standing up so suddenly caused me to loose my balance.   
"Lance, you can barely stand. You just finished healing physically and you have finally accepted the fact that you are mentally not okay. Please, you have to stay here. I can't loose you again." Shiro begged me.   
"I can't just sit here and...and watch you guys risk your lives for me. I can't just sit here knowing you could die and I could have stopped it if I went out there with all of you."  
"Lance you'll just have to trust us." Shiro's gaze stared down into my soul. My stained and damned soul. And I caved in.   
"Alright. I trust you. I trust you and the rest of the team."  
"Thank you." Shiro hugged me and run off.   
So, I sat near the window and watched as the hundreds of Galra drones battle against four out of five lions. There were two motherships and their ion canons were going to be a major problem. Pidge and Hunk took out of ion canons by having them shoot at each other. While Keith and Shiro took out the drones. This looked too easy and I realized something.   
I dashed off running.   
"Allura! Coran! This is way too easy the Galra are plan-"  
"My, how smart you must feel." A Galra stated mockingly. Zarkon.   
Coran and Allura were lying a sprawled on the ground. Breathing but, not moving.   
"If you let my friends live I'll go with you without a struggle." I bargain.   
"Alright. But if you do try to escape, call for help, or move to attack me I'll kill your friends in front of you."   
"Just to make things clear, I will go with you without a struggle and you, your Galra soldiers, and your druids will not kill or harm my friends." I tried to list all the loop holes I could think of.   
"Yes, yes. Now come before your friends notice something's amiss." Zarkon commanded.   
Forgive me Shiro. Forgive me Coran, Hunk, Pidge, Allura, Keith, and Blue. I had to do it. Otherwise you would have gotten hurt or worse killed. I followed Zarkon but, I had to jog to keep up with his swift steps.   
"Keep up Paladin!" Zarkon yelled.   
"I'm trying but, my body hasn't functioned this much in days." I was panting.   
"Tch. Excuses." Zarkon argued.   
"No, explanations." I countered.  
"Whatever...Just keep up." He grumbled.   
"Whatever you say." I smirk and then I speak before I think,   
"So, you're Galra and your son, rest in pieces purple furry fuck, is half Galra and half Altean. And you destroyed Altea out of revenge against King Alfor, who couldn't save your home planet that technically, you destroyed. But the only thing that is bugging me here is, you slept with and reproduced with an Altean woman whose race you blame for the destruction of your home planet. And then kept the child. What I'm asking here is, isn't it a little weird to keep a son, and name him heir to the Galra empire, that is half Altean?"  
Zarkon looked pissed and annoyed at the same time.   
"Shut up." He growled, "If you don't shut up I'll make you regret it later."  
And I laughed.  
"Oh, this is too good to be true. You're already going to torture me and you think threatening me with such a weak and vain threat is going to scare me into silence?" I was laughing so hard I clutched my stomach.   
Zarkon backhanded me and I laughed even harder.   
"What is wrong with you?" He questioned.   
"Lots of things. I guess you'll find out later." I said mocking a his deep voice. "Ya' see what I did there? I said it with a vain response."  
Again another smack.   
"Let's see how long your spirit will last with me."  
"Have you asked Haggard about me?" I question smiling.   
"No."  
"Well, if you did you would have found out that during my torture time with her and Prince Furry I never said anything."  
"That is not possible." Zarkon actually stated with surprise in his voice.   
"Believe it." I deadpanned as I walked into his ship.   
"Those two have been trained by me personally."  
"Then it most be such a disappointment to you. Just like your son." Pain burned my abdomen and I looked down to see his sword went through me. I was laughing again. Spitting up blood as he pulled the blade out.   
"Aww, w-what's w-wrong-g did I-I insult-t y-you?" I mock as he threw me over his shoulder.   
"You better keep your damn mouth shut if you want your friends to live."   
"Ha! You can't harm them. Otherwise it would break our deal."  
Once again he growled. It felt so weird that I shivered.   
"Ohho that felt so strange. I felt that in my bones. Do it again cause the first time I was unprepared."  
He growled again but, cut himself off.   
"Yup, that still feels uncomfortable."  
"Do you ever shut up?"  
"You sound like Keith and the answer is no. Hey, so since I am bleed out on you and your going to torture me later. I'd say we are going to be close. So, tell me about yourself Big Z."  
"No."  
"Come on!" I whine, "It's easy. Here I'll tell you about myself. Let's see...my favorite color is blue. I love any large and deep body of water. Especially the ocean. Umm...I am a flirt and so was your son. He tried to flirt with me and that made things so confusing like I would insult him and he flirt back. It was ridiculous! I mean we're enemies after all. I do feel bad about killing him but, I had to get back to my friends. Hey, question Big Z, what does the name Lotor mean? My full name is Lancelot Leala Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Martyr Patricio Clito Ruíz."  
"Who would name a child with that many names?"  
"The name Lancelot Leala," I continue, "means 'servant' and 'loyal'. I kind of like it because I have always interpreted it as any explanation for my loyalty to my friends. So, what does Lotor mean?"  
"Lotor is a nickname. His real name is Lou Ettore. It means 'warrior' and 'loyal'. He may have been a half breed but, he was my son and you killed him. For that you'll have as you earthlings, say 'hell to pay'."  
"Ha, jokes on you. I've been to hell so many times now, I have reserved seating."  
"What are you talking about?"   
"You'll see. Don't you worry. You'll get the answer Lotor didn't get. So, aside from your love for you son what else can you tell me about yourself."  
"You are mistaken. I do not love my son. He is a half breed. A mistake. To make up for his shortcomings I trained him to be a warrior. It is Galra tradition that if your child has been killed and the killer isn't dead you must avenge them. I am doing this out of respect for Galra tradition."  
"Wow. Here I thought you were a good father. T-thank you for c-correcting me." A few minutes later my vision was growing black spots, "H-hey, Z Man I t-think t-the b-blood l-loss is-s t-taking it's t-toll. If-f y-you d-don't s-stop the-the b-bleeding s-soon I-I m-might       d-die b-before y-you c-can t-torture   m-me."  
"You'll be fine. Why you afraid of dying?" Zarkon teases.   
"N-no. I-in f-fact-t I l-long f-for death. I-I t-think I d-deserve t-the t-torture. I-I k-killed a-a m-man. T-there's no      es-escaping f-from t-that. B-but to j-just-t d-die is s-such a-an e-easy w-way out. I w-want to d-die p-protecting t-the p-people I-I l-love. B-but f-for       w-what I-I've d-done I w-want t-to suffer f-for it-t."  
"Then I'll grant you that wish. I'll make sure you suffer till your last breath."  
"M-my h-hero." I stutter sarcastically.  
"Not for long."   
My world went dark after that. 

\---Shiro's POV---  
We creamed the Galra and they fled when they realized they were loosing. As we entered the hanger and met each other in the hanger. We all walked back together talking about each other's small victories. We entered the control room and saw Coran attending to Allura who was clutching her head. She was in a sitting up position, her back against the wall.   
"What happened?" I asked in a serious voice.   
"The drones were a ploy. It was a trap to allow Zarkon to slip in. Allura fainted and Zarkon hit my head. I was conscious but, unable to move. Zarkon took Lance but, Lance made a bargain with him to protect us."  
"We need to get Lance back." I stated.   
"Well, no duh." Keith replied. His voice filled with anger.   
"Coran can you track the Zarkon's ship? The cameras in the castle must have scanned it. So, can we put a trace on it?"  
Coran nodded and got to work.   
"Okay. Everyone get cleaned up. Coran I'll take Allura back to her room. Pidge once your done cleaning up, can you come to Allura's room and try to comfort her?"  
"Yeah. I can do that." Pidge said leaving the room.   
"Keith, I know you're angry that Lance did this and that you didn't realize that defeating the Galra was too easy. Believe me when I say I am pissed off too but, you need to calm down." Keith nodded and stormed out of the room. So, I turned to Hunk, who was hyperventilating,  
"Hunk we will get Lance back. Until then I need you to calm down, clean up, and do you think you can make some dinner?"  
Hunk slowed his breathing and nodded.  
"Okay. Thank you Hunk."  
Then I turned to Allura. She was staring off into space and mumbling to herself. I scooped her up and started walking to her room.   
"You're all right Allura. You were so brave today. I am proud of you. Now, you get some rest. Then tomorrow we'll get to work. Okay?"  
I simple nod was all I got as I response.   
We'll get Lance back. He'll be fine until then. He's Lance. Lance is always finding a way to survive. He'll be alright. We'll get him back.


	6. Chapter 6

\---Lance's POV---  
Where am I? Am I dead? Is this what it feels like to be dead? I feel like I'm floating.   
Something flooded my lungs as I breathed. I began flailing. Air! I need air! I can't breathe! I...need...a-air...  
I felt something pull me and I was gasping for air and coughing up...water.   
"Good you're awake. Now we can start." Zarkon's voice stated from somewhere in the room. I was wheezing,  
"St-start w-what?" I was breathless.   
"Why, your torture of course. Now, remember how you were telling me about how you love water? And that you are the Blue Paladin of Voltron? Well, you may not know this but, the Blue Paladin is the guardian of water. So, that got me thinking, how can you be the Blue Paladin of Voltron if you're afraid to wash your hands?" Zarkon' laugh was deep and throaty.   
"Hmm, I d-don't k-know. You're           t-torture i-ideas are b-better t-than    H-Haggard's b-but, t-they're not-t       o-original. W-water t-torture i-is s-such a-a c-clique on E-earth. G-good job-b  t-though on t-thinking t-that up-p. It-t m-must h-have b-been s-such a           st-strain. To think-k f-for                 your-yourself." I was smiling because I knew Zarkon wasn't anymore.   
"Haggard, muzzle him."  
"Oh, no! D-did I h-hurt your e-ego like your f-face hurts a-a mirror?" I chuckled at my small insult. I screamed as I felt the muzzles clamps dig into my skin. And just like that I couldn't speak anymore.   
"Remove his shirt and pants. Then chain him up."  
"I see where your son gets it from now." I grit out. I felt the guards holding me flinch and I watched Zarkon try to stare me down but, that only built my confidence.   
"Let's see how long that spirit of yours lasts." Zarkon grumbled out. The guards dragged me to a room.   
I was in actually chains this time. Kurogane iron. The chains stretch my arms out while I was in a standing position. Then the guards left the room and I was sealed in. Glass panels rose up from the ground and I was in an tight enclosed space. With Zarkon and Haggard.   
"Wow, my boy did all this to you?" Zarkon stared in amazement.   
"Nope." I stated dragging out the word,  
"Prince Furry did the scars on my right ribs and face. The rest is from my father and some from me." It was hard to talk through the muzzle the simple movement of my cheeks, was enough to send shocks of pain through me.   
"Whatever," Zarkon said no longer impressed, "Let's begin."  
I didn't notice it before but, the two Furry Fucks were standing behind glass.   
Black goo began flooding the room I was in. It came from holes on the walls I was chained to. It looked thick as blood and when it reached my bare feet it felt like blood.   
"This liquid that you see and soon will feel is special. You see it allows you to breathe yet, it still feels like your suffocating. So, remember deep breathes." Zarkon mocked.   
The thick liquid was already at my chest.   
Zarkon won't take away my love for water. I can't let him.   
The liquid was at my chin.   
Please, someone save me...  
I was suffocating yet, I still could barely breathe.   
This is hell...

\---Shiro's POV---  
Pidge and Coran informed me that they were able to track the ship. But we would need to wormhole there and Allura wasn't in any condition to make a jump that big.   
"Coran, how long do you think it will take until Allura is back on her feet?"  
"It could be a few days." Coran mumbled out.   
"A few days! Lance probably doesn't even have that long!" I yelled.   
"What Zarkon is doing to him is out of Galra tradition, not for the love of his son. Lance will live for weeks if Zarkon follows Galra tradition." Coran replied back to me.   
I was shocked by what the Altean just told me. Lance will suffer for weeks? No! We'll get to him in time. We will save him. I just confessed my feelings for him and he just confessed that he is not okay. We-I can't loose him after I just got him back.   
"Alright Coran, Pidge, you two work on getting Allura better and finding ways to get to the ship. I'll keep Hunk and Keith in check. Don't push yourselves too hard okay?"  
"Okay." They said in unison.   
"I mean it. No staying up past one AM by Earth standard times."  
"One AM! Oh, come on Shiro! Two AM is better." Pidge whined.   
"You heard me. One AM."  
"Fine," Pidge breathed out, "Later Space Dad." Pidge said while running out.   
Coran and I shared and nodded and he followed after Pidge.   
I began walking to the training room. The clashing of metal and Keith's battle cries and grunts of pain, could be heard all the way down the hallway. When I reached the training room Keith had blood trailing down his face and arms. He looked paled and exhausted.   
"End training sequence!" I yelled as Keith collapsed.   
"Keith, you idiot! How are we supposed to rescue Lance when you look like you have one foot in the grave! I expected better from you. You need to find a better way to channel your anger. What if you got injured, huh? How are we suppose to save Lance then? Just-just don't scare me like that. We-I need you. Not just to form Voltron but, as my friend. You're my little brother after all." Keith was silent as I scooped him up.   
"I'm sorry." Keith whispered out.   
"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to yell at you so hard. You're going into a healing pod by the way."  
"What! Come on, please Shiro! Please. Don't do that to me, your little brother." Keith begged.   
"Nope. It's your punishment."

After I sealed Keith into the pod I went to find Hunk.   
He was in the kitchen and to say he was cooking up a storm was an understatement. Hunk was cooking a tornado. Dishes of food were everywhere.   
"Hey, Hunk. When I said I needed you to cook for us I didn't mean cook all our meals for the next year." I tease.   
The Samoan look flustered and out of sorts.   
"Sh-Shiro? I'm sorry I cook a lot when I am upset. Lance was usually here to help calm me down but...but..." Hunk started hyperventilating.   
"Hey, hey it's alright. We're going to get him back. Now, breathe with me." Once I got Hunk to calm down I ordered him to go to bed.   
"But, Shiro I can't sleep knowing that Lance is in pain right now."  
"Hunk at least try. We need to rescue Lance at our A-game."  
He nodded and left.   
I walked aimlessly around the hallways and I stopped before a set of doors.   
"How is it that I always come back to here when I am upset?"  
I walk into Lance's room and fell to my knees and began to cry.   
We are coming as fast as we can Lance. We will save you this time.


	7. Chapter 7

\---Narrator's POV---  
Lance has been encased in the black goo for five hours. He is experiencing the feeling of drowning, slowly dying, waking up only to have the cycle repeat. Picture it like this: You wake up, gasping for air that you can't quite seem to get. You can get enough air to remain alive but, it's not enough to feel alive. Then as you loose consciousness you finally get a breath of air and you snap awake, only to feel like you're drowning again.   
\---Lance's POV---  
I...can't...breathe...I'm...drowning...I...need...air...I...need...air...I...need...air..I...need...air...  
And everything slips away...  
I...need...air...How...long...have...I...been...here...I...need...air...I...can't...breathe...I...need...air...  
And everything slips away...  
I...need...air...Please...I...need...I...need...  
A...  
I...  
R...  
...  
Suddenly I was gasping for air and this time I could keep my breath. I tried to cough up the black goo but, the muzzle prevented it and I was forced to swallow it.   
"Do you want some water?" Zarkon taunted and I flinched.   
"Here let me help you." Zarkon laughed. He pulled the muzzle off and held onto my jaw. Forcing me to look up at him. Water was being poured onto my face. I was once again gasping for air. My blood and water were drowning me.   
I...need...air...  
Once again I was granted air and I coughed up the liquids. Then Zarkon grabbed my jaw and the process started all over again.   
Slow your breathing...calm down...it's like your trapped beneath a wave in the ocean...you're going to be fine...it's just that you're trapped in a riptide at high tide...yeah! Yeah! You're at the ocean...I'm going to be fine...you're just at the ocean in Cuba...

I was smiling and laughing. Zarkon stopped,  
"What is so funny? You should be scared, terrified, and not laughing!" He was pissed and it made me laugh harder.   
"T-that s-seems t-to b-be s-something I d-do oft-ten. I k-know I s-should-d b-be s-scared b-but I'm n-not. And t-that is f-funny t-to m-me." I manage to say. Zarkon left the glass room I was in and yelled,   
"He is not responding to me in the way I want. Haggard! Keep him in the liquid the entire night let's see how he's feeling in the morning!"  
"My Lord, no one has ever survived that long in the liquid. If you do this then he will likely die."  
"Then monitor him to make sure he doesn't! If he does then you'll share his same fate." Zarkon ordered while storming out of the room.   
"Of course, sire."  
Haggard then opened the glass room that I was in and pulled out a metal rod. It was a long narrow cone on one end. The other that was attached to it had a little cylinder and the top had a blue lens.   
"Blue Paladin, if you die I'll make sure that before I die, I will kill all of your friends." She seethed.   
"Bring it on bitch." I mutter.   
She stabbed my chest with the cone end and I felt something wrap around my heart. I let out a gasp of pain.   
"Now, now it'll just monitor your heart rate and if you do flatline it will beat your heart for you."  
She told me as she left the glass room.   
"Have fun." Haggard taunted and the black liquid came flooding back in.   
I began to panic I was gasping for air but, I once again couldn't breathe.   
This is hell...I can barely breathe...I can't see...I can't feel...I can only hear my heart pounding then slowing and then pounding again.   
Ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump  
Ba-dump...ba-dump...ba...dump...  
Then I could breathe again.  
Ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump  
Ba-dump...ba-dump...ba...dump...  
Then I could. Then couldn't.   
I'm dying. No, I'm alive but, I'm not.   
I...can't...breathe...I...need...air...I...need...air...oR jUSt KiLl ME  
Then I slipped away from everything.   
Only to come right back.   
I...can't...breathe...I...need...air...  
HeLp ME...sAvE mE...PlEAse...  
Everything was slipping away from me. Then I was pulled back.   
Did you miss us Lance?   
Shut...up...  
You don't look so good...  
Go...away...  
Alright, we just thought you'd like the company...  
Any Galra soldier...would be...better than you...  
Fine, be that way. You've hurt our feelings. I hope you suffer as much pain as possible. I swear I could hear it laugh.   
I am drowning. I am suffocating. I can't breathe. I need air. I...can't...breathe...I...need...air...  
Please...I...need...air...  
Everything once again slipped away.   
A sharp pain in my chest snapped me awake. I screamed and choked on the black goo.   
I...can't...breathe...I...need...air...  
I don't want to be...in the water anymore. I want to...breathe. I don't want to be...in the water anymore... Someone help me...  
I'm   
D  
R  
O  
W  
N  
I  
N  
G

\---Shiro's POV---  
"Shiro...Shiro...help me..."  
I turned to see Lance lying on the ground. He had a crazed look in his eyes and sadistic smile. Lance was missing his legs and was using his arms to drag him across the floor.   
"What's wrong Shiro?" Lance's voice was shrill and full of excitement, "Don't you think I'm pretty? It's because of you. You let this happen to me. You did this! You!" Lance began to singsong, "Shiro-o! Shiro-o! Shiro wake up!"  
-  
"Shiro wake up! Come on we found a way to get to Lance without having to use Allura. Meet us in the control room." Pidge said.   
"Oh...alright. I'll see you there."  
She nodded and left. I wiped my face and slowly stood up.   
Lance will be fine. We'll save him. Then we'll help him recover.   
I met everyone in the control room everyone except for Allura.   
And Lance...  
"So, tell me about how we are going to find Lance. We will then build a rescue plan from that."  
They nodded and we then got to work. 

\---Zarkon's POV---  
That damn boy is so annoying. Lotor would never talk back as much as he does. Lotor would just take it. While this 'Lance' doesn't ever shut up. He doesn't seem to be afraid of anything. I want to see that fight in his eyes turn into blind fear. I want to listen to his broken silence when I taunt him. To hear him beg for it all to stop. But instead this damn kid won't even scream for mercy. He makes fun of me. I'll show him. I'll show him that he has every reason to fear me. And I'll start by taking away his love for water...

\---Lance's POV---  
I scream as the pain in my chest hits me again. Then I go back to dying. I...want...out...I...want...to...breathe  
I...am...drowning...I...am...suffocating  
KILL ME...please...  
Slowly I die. Once dead, I am resuscitated. Only to repeat the whole thing again.  
Please...let me out...I'm dying to live...I'm living to die...  
-  
I want out  
-  
Get me out of the water  
-  
Or just let me die  
-  
Kill me  
-  
Please  
-  
Then I could breathe again. The world was so bright it hurt my eyes. My body was sore from being in this position. My chest and heart hurt from being resurrect so many times. I was coughing up the black goo and wheezing for air.   
"Thirsty?" A voice boomed.   
My head shot up and I began to panic.   
No! No more water! Please! Please!  
"Aw, what's wrong? Where's your fiery spirit? No insult? Pity. I thought you'd at least have something to say."   
Let me die.  
A hand clamped down on my jaw and water was being poured down onto my face.   
Make it stop. Please. Just kill me.   
"Isn't the water refreshing? Isn't it amazing? That reminds me do you want some food? Well, here you go anyway."  
The water stopped and before I could breathe again a tube was forced into my mouth and liquid burned down my throat into my lungs and stomach.   
I need air. I want everything to stop.   
But it didn't and I blacked out.


	8. Chapter 8

A timeskip where team Voltron narrowly manages to rescue Lance and are in the middle of trying to escape. There might be a flashback to explain it later. 

\---Shiro's POV---  
Lance was in a daze as he had a blank stare on his emotionless face. He was wearing only his boxers and there was something on his chest. He sat on my lap as I piloted the black lion away from the Galra fleet.   
"Hey, Lance...talk to me here...I-I want you to know you got out. You're safe now because I'm here for you. Listen to the sound of my voice, Lance come back to me. Come back to us. We're all waiting for you." I murmur into his ear but, the only response I got were tears fall from his unfixed gaze.   
What have they done to you?

\---Lance's POV---  
I was drowning in the ocean. The water is filling my lungs, slowly killing me.   
Then I heard a voice called out to me,   
"Lance come back to me. Come back to us. We're all waiting for you..."  
Shiro? Shiro help me!  
I wanted to scream out but, more water flooded into my lungs.   
Shiro, save me...  
I'm drowning and I need a lifeline.   
But the need for air became too great and I once again I slipped away from everything. 

\---Shiro's POV---  
"Shiro? Shiro help me!" Lance called out.   
"I'm here Lance! I'm right here!" But Lance couldn't hear me. He couldn't see me.   
"Shiro, save me..." Lance whispered out as he began hyperventilating.   
"Lance I'm right here! Talk to me! What's going on? Please Lance..." I was crying as I flew Black into her hanger. As I was doing so Lance blacked out from not getting enough air.   
I scooped him up and ran to the med bay.   
"Coran! Coran, is the pod ready?" I found the Altean standing in front of a pod with a sedative and a healing pod suit.   
"We need to look at the damage first." Coran explained as I set Lance down on the gurney. The Altean injected the sedative into Lance's arm.   
The rest of Voltron came running into the room.   
"Is he going to be all right? He'll be fine. He's Lance, right?" Hunk asked.   
"Yeah, will Lance be all right?" Pidge asked.   
Keith just stared at Lance'a body.   
"We don't know yet. Coran just started." Was all I said.   
The silence was killing me. Then Lance gasped for air. Clawing at his throat and coughing. Hard.   
"Shiro! Keith! Restrain him!" Coran yelled.   
Keith and I dove into action. We pinned his arms and shoulders back. Lance violently was coughing up black goo.   
"Coran what did you give him?!" I yell as I try to gently yet forcefully keep Lance down.   
"It's something to make him cough up any toxins. I need a sample of that to determine what toxin it is. Pidge! Use this and scan the thing on Lance's chest." Coran threw a weird looking scanner at Pidge and she fumbled with it. Then got to work. She scanned the thing on Lance's chest as Keith and I tried to keep him still. A image popped up on a screen. The thing on Lance's chest was wrapped around his heart.   
"Damn those Galra!" Coran muttered.   
"What's wrong?" I grunted out.  
"We need to remove that thing before we can put him in a pod. Hunk! Come with me as I get the supplies."  
"That won't be necessary." Allura said entering the room, "Coran tell me what the thing is and I'll get the supplies."  
"Galra mechanical heart pump."  
"By King Alfor..." Allura gasped then ran out.   
"All right you two keep him down until I inject the drug and it takes effect. Hunk hold his legs down." Coran ordered.   
Lance was pinned down completely and he was no longer coughing up black goo but, still was coughing and thrashing.   
Coran injected the actually sedative this time. Slowly Lance stopped thrashing and then his whole body went lax. The three of us backed away cautiously. Allura came back in with a metal box.   
"Start charging the pads. Keep them on standby. Shiro keep pinning down Lance's shoulders. Keith stay in the room in case Lance starts thrashing again. Everyone else clear out."  
So we did.   
Allura was powering a machine on and Coran was prepping himself for whatever he was about to do.   
"Forgive me Lance, my boy..." Coran muttered to himself. He grabbed the chargers and slammed them onto Lance's chest. Lance arched his back and was screaming. Keith and Allura pinned his legs down. We were all crying and I wished whatever Coran was doing to him would end. The device in Lance's chest was flickering from blue to black. When I became black Coran pulled away. Then grabbed an alien version of a scalpel and cut at the device. Finally he pulled out the thing and threw it across the room.   
"Dress him and put him in the pod." The alien whispered and then threw up.  The Blue Paladin looked like the embodiment of pain and angst.   
Lance's blood dyed the white fabric of the shirt.   
I felt the urge to threw up as well.   
He's safe. He's going to fine. He'll be fine. He's safe.   
I chanted to myself. Allura helped Coran up and the two walked away. Keith and I stood in silence looking at Lance. He's face was no longer scrunched up in pain but, his screaming was still ringing in my ears. 

\---Hunk's POV---  
Lance's screams could be all the way into the kitchen. I flinched as I heard them.   
He's going to be fine. The screaming will stop soon and then he'll get better. I was shaking and crying. Pidge entered the kitchen and ran into my chest. We fell to the floor shaking and crying together. As we waited out the screaming.   
"H-he's going to be f-fine right?" Pidge asked me as she buried her face deeper into my chest. I petted her hair and replied softly,  
"He's g-going to be fine. He's L-lance after all."  
Slowly the screaming ceased and it left us with our sobs.   
Please be all right. 

\---Lance's POV---  
My heart was pounding so fast I felt that it was going to beat out of my body. The pain in my chest intensified. What do the Galra want from me? Can't they just kill me? Please...I want Death...  
The pain subsided and I was allowed a moments breath. Only the pain started up again.   
Kill...me  
Finally it was over. The weight that was pressed against me let up. Then I was lift up and placed into something cold.   
Will I die soon? I hope so...Forgive me Shiro for not being strong enough...I want to be...for you but, living right now is so damn hard...Maybe I die soon and you can move on...It will be for the best because who would want someone like me...   
Exhaustion claimed my mind and I let go of my grip on consciousness.

\---Shiro's POV---*a week later*  
Coran wasn't quite right for the next few days. He hurt Lance and he couldn't seem to get over that. By the fourth day Coran finally came to terms with what he had done and went back to his usually self. Coran hasn't finished identifying the black goo Lance coughed up, but he's working on it.  
Lance is going to be leaving the pod today so I have barely left the room. Finally the pod whooshed open and Lance fell out. Right into my arms.   
Lance blinked a few times but, then finally snapped awake.   
"W-where am I?" Lance's voice rasp.   
"You're back on the Castle Lance. We saved you. You are free. You're going to be alright now. Are you tired? Hungry? Thirsty? Do you want some water?" I asked but, Lance went into full panic mode.   
Lance thrashed in my grip and pushed against my chest,  
"You're n-not real! G-get out-t of m-my h-head! M-make it st-stop! Make i-it stop! P-please!" Lance begged as he started clawing at me. He then began hyperventilating and he fell to his knees.   
"Lance! Calm down. This is real. You got out. You're safe now. Please, listen to my voice. It's me Shiro, your boyfriend, we got you out. Haggard is dead, I killed the bitch myself. You are free now. It's going to be alright. Take some deep breaths with me. In and out. Nice and slow." Lance was taking some deep breaths with me until the strain he put himself through finally caught up with him and he passed out.   
"Coran do you know what triggered that panic attack? He was fine before Shiro said thirsty." Keith asked.   
I picked up Lance bridal style and brought him to the gurney.   
The computer beeped and Coran and Allura rushed over to it. Coran gasped and Allura took a step back,  
"It makes sense now." Allura breathed out, "Why Lance had the heart pump. Why Lance reacted the way he did about being thirsty and water. The black goo was a liquid that makes you feel like your suffocating yet still always you to breathe. Th-they must have k-kept him in a case of i-it because that's the only r-reason for him to have the p-pump. Zarkon used w-water t-torture on him."   
Coran and Hunk fell to the floor. They were crying silently. Keith look pissed and Pidge looked like she hadn't registered anything Allura said. I simple looked down at Lance.   
How much pain must you go through before this war is over?


	9. Chapter 9

\---Shiro's POV---  
"-ance? Lance? How ya' feeling buddy?" I ask as I watch his eyes flutter open.   
He moans as the bright lights and eyes final process that they're open.   
"K-kill m-me p-please." Lance begs. I lean down and cup his face and whisper to him,  
"Lance, listen to me please, you got out. You're safe now. You're free. This is real. You are on the Castle of Lions. You are free. You are safe now." I told Lance all the things that I needed to hear when I escaped the Galra.   
"D-doesn't mat-ter...k-kill me..." Lance whispered out as tears slid down the corners of his eyes.   
"I'm not going to let that happen. Let's get some food for you."  
I scoop Lance up bridal style and walked to the kitchen.   
"Lance do you want me to continue talking?"  
A small drop of his head.  
"Well, you are the most important team member of Voltron because you're the glue that keeps everyone together. You kept everyone here sane. Those small jokes and flirting were ways to make the situation less awkward and us feel better. We see that now. Thank you Lance. Thank you s-so much."  
The boy in my arms simply stared at my face.   
"Sh-Shiro?"   
"Yeah. It's me Shiro."  
"Y-you're r-r-real right?"  
"Yes. I am. So is this. I can prove it to you."  
"H-how?"  
I lean down and kiss Lance's forehead.   
"Did you feel your heart flutter? Your breath catch? Your stomach twist? That is real. I feel it too. Every time you smile, laugh, work hard, even a high five from you brightens up my day. Now, I'm going to return the favor ten fold."  
Lance just stares at nothing. His head rested against my chest, above my heart.   
"So, I was thinking we could start small with food. Two slices of alien bread."  
A curt nod. I was talking to him about how Hunk went overboard on stress cooking. Then I placed down the slices of bread. You'll have to bring it up sooner or later.   
"You'll need to drink something too." I finally said what I knew would be the hardest thing in my life.   
Lance tenses and he freezes up and then begins shaking.   
"Lance! Lance! Talk to me here. Nod your head if you can hear me."  
The boy was reliving a memory but,  still he nodded his head.   
"Okay, listen to my voice. Imagine it was a rope. A lifeline. Grab onto it and don't let go because I'll be pulling you out of the hell you're trapped in."  
"Just-t k-k-kill me...p-please..." Lance whispered out. He's a broken record player.   
"Make it stop." The quiet words pass between Lance's lips.   
"I know you are in pain and that doesn't even begin to describe it but, I am not going to let you die. I need you. The whole universe needs you. So, please, don't give up just yet. Don't give up on me just yet."  
Lance fell out of his seat and tried to crawl away from whatever was haunting his vision. I ran over to him and wrapped him in my arms. I was on my back and he was lying on top of my chest. I crossed his arms and held onto his hands in case he tried anything that could hurt him.   
"Breathe Lance. Deep breaths. Slow your breathing. You are not drowning. You are here with me. Come Lance breathe with me." I tried to coax him into taking deep breaths but, he started hyperventilating and passed out.   
We can't keep doing this. We can't have Lance flip out every time we mention drinking something. We need to help Lance and by doing so we need to understand what he's feeling. 

\---Lance's POV---  
"You'll need to drink something too." Shiro stated.   
"Are you thirsty? Here have some water." The water began filling my lungs. I can't breathe. I...need...air.   
I felt my body begin shaking.   
"Lance! Lance! Talk to me here. Nod your head if you can hear me." Shiro called out to me.   
I nod my head.   
I'm dying. I'm drowning.   
"Okay, listen to my voice. Imagine it was a rope. A lifeline. Grab onto it and don't let go because I'll be pulling you out of the hell you're trapped in."  
"Just-t k-k-kill me...p-please..." I whisper out.   
The water is filling my lungs. I am gasping for air but, all I can get is water. Please. Let me die. Right as I was about to pass out. The water stopped pouring and I could breathe again. Only to have it start back up again.   
Shiro...make it stop.  
"I know you are in pain and that doesn't even begin to describe it but, I am not going to let you die. I need you. The whole universe needs you. So, please, don't give up just yet. Don't give up on me just yet."   
We'll keep you in the liquid over night. See how you're feeling in the morning.   
Nonononono I can't go back to that. That silence. That living hell. I won't. I won't.   
But I felt my body fall back into the blood thick liquid. I tried to move and get out but, I was trapped. Encased in my liquid tomb.   
"Breathe Lance. Deep breaths. Slow your breathing. You are not drowning. You are here with me. Come Lance breathe with me." A voice tried to coax me into taking deep breaths but, the burning in my lungs and the lack of air grew to be too much.   
Hell would be better than this...  
-le nightmare-  
My father stood over me with a blood caked whip in one of his fist. The other had a bottle of whiskey.   
"You little shit. What makes you think you have the right to act that way? I pay for everything. The clothes on you back, the food on the table, the power to light the house. And you think you can do whatever you want and get away with it? You're worthless. You're nothing. You can't even do one job right." The whip snapped through the air and my father was yelling at me about being pathetic. The voice changed into one that was much softer than my father's usual drunk slur, "All you had to do was tell me where you got your scars from. Then you and I could have gotten along better. We could have bonded over our crappy fathers." The glint of the dagger caught my eye and before it could cut me. I felt water fall down my face. Tears. They were called tears. Those tears slowly turned into a stead flow of the black goo.   
It burned in my lungs and left me with little to no air to breathe. Maybe I can finally die...  
-end of le nightmare-  
\---Shiro's POV---  
I picked up Lance and started walking back to his room, when I decided to take a detour.   
"Hey Coran," I call out to the Altean,  
"Do you think you can gather everyone up and meet us in the training room. I think that the only way for us to help Lance is to understand Lance."  
Coran looked shocked but, nodded his head,  
"Alright. We will all meet you there. I'll make sure of it."  
We both exited the room. Lance's face was scrunched up and he was squirming. He's having a nightmare.   
"Shh, shh, it's alright. It's just a bad dream. Shh...I'm here now. Soon the others will be as well." I whisper to Lance as I walk to the training room.


	10. Chapter 10

\---Lance's POV---  
-le nightmare b/c the author's mean like that-  
Kill me. I'm begging you.   
Aw, but Lancy Lanc-  
Don't call me that. Only my siblings or friends call me that. And you aren't either of them.   
Don't be like that Lance. I thought I was your friend. I tell you the truth like a good friend does. I come to you in your time of need. And the thanks I get is you yelling at me? Fine, how about I become your enemy?  
With that a flood of memories flash through my mind. I fall to me knees and scream.   
Lick it up baby. Lick it up. If I'm not your friend but, your enemy then I'm going to make life a living hell for you...  
-  
I woke up with Shiro in a chair next to my bed. His arms folded on top of the mattress and his head resting against them. He looks so peaceful. He's so exhausted from taking care of you. His eyes fluttered open.   
"Morning Lance, how'd you sleep?" Shiro asked while smiling at me.   
Horribly. Bad. Awful. That wasn't even the worst of it. Think of it like it was just the demo.   
I nodded my head in response.   
"Hey, please don't be mad at us but, the team and I decided that in order for us to help you. We had to understand what you went through. We used the mind meld." Shiro said in a rush.   
I flinched when he said that. Why? Why would you all want to see the mess I call a mind? Who would want to see what I went through? Looky, looky your friends are already doing stuff behind your back. Still think of them as your friends?  
"I'm sorry Lance, we just wanted to know and it seemed like the easiest option." Shiro apologized, "Hey, do you have to use the bathroom?"  
I drop my head and Shiro scoops me up.   
He's alway caring me. It's because he doesn't trust you enough to stand on your own. He thinks you're going to run away.   
I start pushing against Shiro's chest. Squirming against his grip.  
I don't need him to carry me around. That's the way to think Lance!   
"Lance, I'm sorry that I keep on carrying you. It must bother you. Here I'll set you down. Next time I promise I'll ask. Okay?" Shiro sets me down at the door of my bathroom.   
I try to move but, my legs lock up.   
How am I going to sanitize my hands?   
Don't worry we'll help you with that.   
Memories of the torture flashed into my mind.  
My knees went weak and I fell to the floor.   
"Lance! Hey, talk to me here. Tell me what's going on." Shiro kneeled down next to me.   
I was clutching my head. Sweat coated my skin.   
I'm drowning. I can't breathe. Please make it stop. Please. No.   
"Lance, you're not drowning. It's alright. You can breathe. You're going to be okay. Come on. Deep breaths."  
Not realizing that I said what I was think out loud. I shiver.   
"Is it okay if I touch you?"  
I couldn't respond. I felt the muzzle clamp onto my face.   
I scream.   
Make it stop! Make it stop!  
My vision starts to blur and the water surrounding me drowns out all the sounds.   
It's funny because you think this is all real. You do realize that you never escaped right? This is all Haggard's doing. You were right from the start. This isn't real. You never left the black goo.   
Please...make everything stop...  
But it's just getting good.   
And lost it. My grip on reality and my grip on consciousness.   
\---Shiro's POV---  
I set Lance down at the door of the bathroom. He just stood there for a few seconds and then fell to the floor.   
"Lance! Hey, talk to me here. Tell me what's going on." I call out to him as I kneel down.   
He was clutching his head and gritting his teeth.   
"I'm drowning. I can't breathe. Please make it stop. Please. No." The boy breathed out.   
"Lance, you're not drowning. It's alright. You can breathe. You're going to be okay. Come on. Deep breaths." I try and calm him down but, it's like what I said only made things worse.   
"Is it okay if I touch you?" I gingerly ask.   
Then Lance screamed.   
"Lance please, you're alright. You got out. We got you out. You're not in the black goo. You're here. You're on the Castle of the Lions. Please, calm down. Talk to me here. Lance! Lance!" I grabbed his shoulders and shake him a little bit.   
His doors whooshed open and Allura and Coran stood there.   
"What's going on?" Allura asked, not demanding but out of concern.   
"Is he all right?" Coran questioned.   
"I don't know," I reply, "I think he's having an episode again. He won't snap out of it."   
Then Lance collapses into my arms.   
"How are going to help him? The smallest things can trigger this then how are we supposed to help him through it?" Allura thought out loud.   
"Isn't there some kind of alien medicine we can give him?" I question,  
"Because on Earth we'd given him anti depressants and anti psychotics. So, is there anything we can give him?"  
Coran and Allura were silent. Then Coran spoke,  
"Why, there might be! But, I don't know what the effects might be on humans."   
"We have to try something. It will probably be better than just trying to talk him out of it." I try and convince Coran as I pick Lance up and walk to his bed.   
"Well, alright. We'll need to go to the Space Mall. There is a drug there that can help you deal with emotions but, it's different for everyone. With some aliens it can make them act bolder. Others act calmer. I just don't know what it will do for humans." Coran informed us.   
"We'll just have to try." Allura stated.   
-after a trip to the space mall and Coran bargaining skills the team, save for Allura and Lance returned with the pills-  
"How's Lance?" I ask Allura.  
"Oh, Shiro, you scared me. I didn't hear you come in." Allura stated.   
"Sorry."  
"It's alright. Lance has been asleep the entire time. Even when I try to wake him up. He's just...well asleep. Lance has shown no indication that he is dreaming or having a nightmare. I'm a bit concern. I've checked his pulse more times than I can count. It's stead. Shiro, I don't know what to do."  
"Let me try to wake him up. If he doesn't we'll get Coran. Can you hold the pills we got him?"  
"Yeah sure." Allura responded.   
I walk over to Lance. He has steady breathing and has no rapid eye movement. A sleeping beauty. Scars and all.   
Lightly I shake him.   
"Lance, it's time to get up." I whisper into his ear. I move before I can think and my lips brush against Lance's.   
The boy wakes up and immediately both he and I pull back.   
"I'm sorry Lance. Did I startle you? Wait, of course I did. Any rationally person would freak out if they woke open to be kissed. It's just that Allura told me that you wouldn't get upset when she tried to wake you and I moved before I could think. I'm sorry."  
Lance looked like a frightened cat.   
"Hey, Lance," I continue, "We got you an alien drug that supposed to help you. I was wondering if you could try it. It will help you with what your feeling."  
Allura steps forward and hands me the pills.  
Lance begins shaking his head no.   
"Nonononono" He chanted.   
"Please, they are going to help you." I beg.   
"Nonononono!" He was yelling, "I won't. You can't make me. Nonononono!"   
The strain that this was putting on Lance was visible. Even though he just woke up he was about to pass out again.   
"Okay. I won't force you. They're here for you if you need them. I'll put them on the night stand okay?"  
"Why are you doing this to me? Why can't you just kill me? I want to die. Please." Lance's voice was nothing but a whisper.   
"Please don't say stuff like that Lance. I know you are in pain. We all do. We just want to help you get better." I place the pills next to him. And begin walking towards the door. Allura already left. But something grabbed onto my sleeve.   
"Please stay." He whispered out.   
"Alright." I moved to get a chair.   
"No. You don't have to do that. Just...get in the bed with me." Again his voice was nothing but a whisper. But I heard it as if he was shouting it.   
"Ohhh-yeah. S-sure." Damn it! Quit stammering.   
Lance moves over on the bed making room for me. I crawl in under the covers and Lance instantly latches onto me. Not in a clingy or sexual way but, in a way of a person who is starved of affection. I wrap my arms around him.   
"You're going to be okay, I promise."  
"Look who the liar is now." Lance whispers.   
"I'm not lying," I said defensively,  
"You're going to be alright some day. I'm going to make sure of it. You have done it for me so, I'm going to do it for you." I proudly state.   
"You can try. I'm just a lost cause."  
"No you're not. You're my friend. Better yet you're someone I love. And I'm going to help you get better."   
"Do you mean that? Do you really love me?" Lance questioned. His voice sounded tired like he was straining himself just to stay awake.   
"Yes Lance. I do."  
"I love you too." Lance tired said then promptly fell asleep.   
I could feel my face blush. The heat in my cheeks. He loves me. He said it. I said it.   
"Goodnight Lance." I kiss the top of his head and slowly fell asleep smiling.


	11. Chapter 11

\---Lance's POV---  
I woke up from yet another nightmare that left me with the feeling of dread. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something dash away.   
"Shiro?" I questioned as I stood up to follow the figure. The person sped up faster and I was lost.   
"Hey! Slow down!" I yell, "Where'd you go?"  
I had no clue where I was and the person I was chasing after has disappeared.   
"Hey, guys very funny now can you please stop." I said in a panicked voice. Yet, nothing happened.   
They left you here to rot away. They hate you so much that they want you to die alone and forgotten.   
Please no. Please stop. Shiro wouldn't do that to me.   
"Shiro most definitely did..." A familiar male voice called out.   
It can't be. There is no way.   
"Y-you're d-d-dead."   
But he's still here.   
"Then how am I here?"  
"Y-you're not r-real Lotor!" I yell as I fall to my knees.   
"Wrong. This isn't real. Did you really think you killed me? Me, Zarkon's heir that he has personal trained himself. I've learned the arts of torture and have create a few of my own. Besides in what world aside from a fake one would Team Voltron ever truly accept you. Hm?" Lotor's hand wrapped around my throat and he lifted me off of the ground.   
"This one is a personal favorite where you spiral into madness unable to identify what's real and what's not." Lotor licked his lips as he pulled me closer. A seductive smile blossomed across his face.   
"Oh, how I have missed you." Lotor's lips crash against mine.   
This isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't real. This can't be real.   
Tears were streaming down my face and my whole body stifled up as I felt the water slid down my scarred cheeks.   
I can't breathe. Please. Someone. Anyone. Help. I'm drowning.   
Lotor pulled away and frowned.   
"You want proof that I'm real. Then let me fix your fear of water." Lotor snapped his fingers and instantly I could breathe again and I no longer felt like I was always drowning.   
"T-thank you." I whisper out breathlessly. I focused on the floor.   
"It's so cute when you're polite. You're welcome. But that's never going to happen again. I'll be back soon, my pet." Lotor said.   
When I looked up he was no where.   
\---Shiro's POV---  
I left the room to go get some water. I didn't want to wake Lance so, I just left him to sleep.   
"Hey, Shiro. Long time no see." A voice called out to me.  
"Hm? Oh, Keith is that you?" I ask as I finish my water.   
"'Course it is. Who else is awake at this hour?" Keith said. His Texan was showing. I smiled to myself.   
"Well, how have you been?" I ask.   
"I've been good. I manage to make it to Level 27 in training this morning." Keith bragged.   
"Wow! That's awesome Keith." I congratulate him. Keith then bit his lip before hesitantly asking,  
"How's Lance?" I sucked in a breath.   
"He's...he's been better. Speaking of which do you mind coming with me to check on him?"  
"No, not at all."  
We walked in silence the rest of the way. When we reached the door to my room. Both of us took steps back.   
"Lance? Lance, buddy where are you?" I ask the empty room. I walked around in circles.   
This isn't happening again. Lance probably wandered off. For food or looking for me. Right? Yeah. Right. He's somewhere in the Castle. This huge, ginormous, castle where anyone could get lost in.   
"I'll notify Allura. Then we can start searching the castle for him." Keith told me pulling me out of my thoughts. I nod my head and watch as Keith leaves and I start rooming towards the kitchen.   
"Lance? Are you here?" No reply.   
"Dammit Lance, where are you!?"

\---Lance's POV---  
"Guys! GUYS! I found him!" A male voice yelled out but, I was staring at the spot Lotor was just standing.   
"Hey, Lance," The voice murmurs,  
"Whatcha' doing all the way down here?"  
"K-Keith?" I question.   
"Yes buddy?" Keith said kneeling down.   
"D-did y-you s-see him?" I ask looking up at him but, my vision blurred with tears.   
"See who?" Keith murmured as he sat right next to me. I grabbed onto his arm.   
"P-please d-don't k-kid l-l-like t-that. Y-you s-s-saw Lotor, r-right?" Right?   
"I'm sorry Lance. I didn't see Lotor."  
he didn't see him. he didn't see him. he didn't see him. he didn't see him.  
"Lance?" Another male voice called out to me.   
"Sh-Shiro? D-did y-you s-s-see him? Please t-tell m-me you saw h-him." My voice sounded child like.   
"I'm sorry Lance but, I don't know who you're talking about." Shiro said quietly.   
"Lotor."   
"Lance, Lotor is dead." Shiro said hesitantly.   
"B-b-but I saw him. I saw him." I was hysterical. I scrambled away from Keith and Shiro and backed away into a corner.   
Wait, this isn't real. Lotor created them. This isn't real. But it is?   
"This isn't real!" I yell.   
"Lance, this is real. Lotor isn't real." Shiro said softly but, firmly.   
"Well Lotor says the same thing about you." I mutter out.   
Is this real? Why would Lotor create a world like this though? This isn't real? This is real?  
I was hyperventilating.   
"Is this real?"  
Wait, there is a way to test if what Lotor said is true...  
I stand up and bolt away. I have to find a bathroom. Shiro and Keith were shouting after me but, I blocked them out.   
I need to find water.   
Somehow, I stumbled into a room and rushed towards the bathroom. Fiddling with the shower lever I turned on the water. I was standing right beneath the shower head. The water was running down my body. And...and...  
Nothing.   
No hysteria, no feeling of drowning, not a single thing.   
I fell to my knees.   
"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?" I scream and scream and scream and scream.   
Until everything slips away.   
-  
When I woke up I noticed that I was standing and resting against someone. I rubbed my face into the strong chest.   
"Shiro?" I ask sleepily not bothering to open my eyes.   
"Guess again." A voice said and I snapped awake instantly. I tried to pull away but, the arms holding me pressed me against his chest tighter.   
"NO! Nonononono-"   
"Stop that. Or else I'll put you back into the chamber again. And you can go back to screaming like a madman." He threatened.   
"Lotor l-let go of me." I begged.   
"No. I don't trust you to stand on your own. I also don't think you're going to be awake for much longer. How about we just go to bed? Hm?"  
My body went lax into his arms. He's so warm.   
"Alright." I whisper.   
"Good boy." Lotor praised me and then picked me up bridal style. I fought to stay conscious but, I hand was placed over my eyes forcing them shut.   
"Sleep Lance." Lotor whispered.   
And I did just that.


	12. Chapter 12

\---Lotor's POV---  
Lance has been in the torture chamber for 3 weeks. Though I am pretty sure in the false reality he was living in, it was months. After he 'snapped' my neck he fell to the floor and passed out. Haggard found me barely alive and revived me. She then asked me what to do with Lance. Put him in the chamber I told her. And she did and there he has been. I carried Lance, who was now asleep in my arms, down the hallways and into my bedroom.   
My, how I've missed him. I just want to take a bite out of him. During his time in the chamber it has revealed a lot about Lance. And the things we have in common.   
Gently, I laid Lance down on my mattress. He squirmed as I placed him under the covers. He's so cute.   
I crawled into the space next to him and wrapped my arms around him. Sub consciously Lance moved towards me so, his back was pressing against me.   
My love and desire for you have doubled tenfold.   
"You will be mine Lance McLain, I promise you that." I whisper into his ear and my lips stretch into a smile. Then slowly I closed my eyes still smiling. 

\---Lance's POV---  
-le nightmare-  
I was surrounded by mirrors. It was like one of those fun house mazes at carnivals, except this wasn't fun.   
"Lance" A male voice calls out to me. Taunting me.   
"~Lance~" The voice singsongs.   
"Who are you? Where am I? What's going on?" The questions come spilling out of me.   
Suddenly, Lotor appeared in all the mirrors.   
"~Lance~, aww don't look so scared. I'm here now." Lotor whines, "Or do you want to see a more familiar face?" Lotor changed to Shiro.   
"Or how about these?"  
Shiro changed to Keith. Keith to Hunk. Hunk to Pidge. Pidge to Coran. Coran to Allura. Allura to my...mom. Upon seeing my mother's face she stopped changing and I took a sharp breath and a step backwards.   
"Lancelot McLain, don't you dare step away from your mother!" She lectures me.   
"C-change back to anyone but, her. P-please." I begged. Tears welled in my eyes and the creatures changed back to Lotor.   
"Aw, what's wrong Lance? Worried that the only mother that you ever had would be disgusted to look at you?"  
"Stop it. My mother will always love me."  
"Even if you're tainted?" He questioned.   
"Y-y-yes she would?" My voice sounded meekly and more like a question.   
"You sure about that? I mean who would want a son like you? Someone who has killed people, someone who has lost their spirit, someone who cowers at well...anything..."  
"Stop it please. Please. Stop." I ramble as I felt my cheeks grow heavy and my vision blur.   
"~Lance~"  
"~Lance~"  
"~Lance! WAKE UP!~"  
-end of le nightmare-  
"Lance! Wake up!" Lotor demanded while shaking me. I let out a whimper and my eyes flutter open.   
"Hey, Lance...Shh...shh...It's all right now. You were just having a bad dream." Lotor said while petting my hair and cradling me. I sobbed into his chest.   
"You're all right now...Shh...You're okay it was just a bad dream. I'm here now. It's okay."  
I cried and cried and cried and cried until I couldn't anymore. I felt sick and I instantly moved to the side of the bed and started dry heaving. All the while Lotor was there trying to comfort me and rubbed soothing circles on my back. When I was done dry heaving Lotor picked me up and carried me to the bathroom. We were silent the whole time. I was sit and still crying except the tears were silent this time. Lotor began cleaning me up. I didn't protest as he removed the clothing I was in until I was in nothing but, my boxers. As he eased me into a bathtub and softly began scrubbing my hair. Lotor was humming to himself a song that I didn't know.   
"Why did you pull me out?" I whisper.   
"Out of the nightmare or the chamber?" Lotor questioned.   
"Both..." I replied waiting for an answer but, got none. Then finally he spoke,   
"I got you out of the chamber because your brain activity was going off the charts, your heart rate was increasing to the point where it could have collapsed and...because I missed you. I pulled you out of the nightmare because you would have done the same for me. You and I, Lance, we're not that much different. We were both abused by our fathers, we both have mothers that could have done something to stop it, we both are haunted by our past, and we both are seeking true love. And that's just to name a few." Lotor responded.   
I was about to argue and deny it. But what was the point? It was all true.   
"You probably have realized that by now what I've told you is true. Lance, I am going to make you a solemn promise right now. I will never lie to you. I will never try to deceive you of the truth. I will be so good to you, I promise." Lotor promised me.   
I was frozen though. His words repeated in my head. I will be so good to you. I promise. I will be so good to you. I promise. I will be so good to you. I promise.  
"Okay...may I ask another question?" My voice was a void of emotion. I felt empty.   
"Sure." Lotor said.   
"Did my teammates even bother to come looking for me?" I ask and waited for the Galra Prince to respond.   
"For the first week. Then when they tried to come and save you, they got the wrong ship. Voltron saved another human named Matt, I think. As far as I have heard they believe you're dead and Matt is now the Blue Paladin." Lotor told me. His words were nothing but, the truth.   
"Huh," I scoff, "Some teammates."  
"I am sorry. Truly." The prince apologized to me.   
"Can I ask you to do something for me?" I ask hesitantly.   
"You may."  
"Kill me." I finally said it.   
"No."  
"Please." I begged. My voice broke as I said those words.   
"I am not going to kill you. I am never going to let that happen either."  
"Then I'll do it myself." I mutter.   
I felt something grab my cheeks and turn me to face a certain prince. Then he smashed his lips onto mine. At first I tried to pull away but, then I melted into the kiss. It felt so good.   
Lotor pulled away and we were both breathless. He straightened himself up and cleared his throat.   
"Lance I have a proposal for you."  
I nod my head showing him that I heard what he said.   
"Join me. Stay with me. I can show you that there is something worth living for. You don't have to be the loyal dog of Voltron. You can be a prince. You won't be alone or feel alone anymore because I'll be there. I have already promised to be good for you and I will. No matter what. I want to help you. I want you. I want you scars and all. Please, Lance be mine. I love you."  
I couldn't move from his gaze and my mind repeated everything he just said to me.   
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.   
Should I do this? My teammates have long since betrayed me. My family thinks I'm dead by now. Hell, the whole universe does by now. There is nothing left for me. Nothing except this man before me. And this man just offered me everything I ever wanted. Just said everything I wanted to hear. He may be evil but, damn the world.   
"Okay." I agreed and nod my head in conformation.   
Lotor's devilish smile stretched across his face.   
"Lance, you have just made me the happiest person in the universe. You will not regret this. You will be happy soon too."  
I simply nodded my head.   
"Lance, do you trust me?"  
Again I nod my head.   
"Then I want you to know I am doing this to help you."  
Then everything went dark.


	13. Chapter 13

\---Lotor's POV---  
"You know the plan, right?" I ask Haggard as she and her druids begin to get to work.   
"Yes, you wish for us to change him into an Altean and for us to wipe his memories."  
"Also, get rid of the scars on his face." I instructed.   
Haggard nodded.   
This is for you Lance. This is all for you. I know that you're mind is broken just as much as your body. The only way for you to recover is to forget. But I'll be here for you. I'll always be here for you.   
The druids got to work all the while as I watched.   
I made a promise to you Lance. I will keep it. I have promised to tell you the truth. Just not the whole truth. I have promised to never harm you. It is not me who is doing this to you now. I have promised to be good to you. This is the best way.  
Then Lance started screaming. 

\---Lance's POV---  
Where am I? Who am I? What's going on?  
I opened my eyes but, quickly closed them letting out a moan.   
"He's awake." A voice called out.   
My throat felt all scratchy like I have been screaming.   
"W-wh-"  
"Please don't try to speak just yet." A voice interrupts me.   
"W-whe-" I was interrupted by a coughing fit.   
Someone helped me sit up and shoved a glass to my lips. Forcing me to drink it. The contents of what was inside the glass eased its way down my throat. It was slow and it felt suffocating. When it fell into my stomach I could finally breathe again. My throat no longer felt scratchy either.   
Slowly I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was the hottest man in the world. He had lushest, long white hair. He had purple skin that was more like a thin fur coat. This handsome stranger also had long pointed ears. Handsome and gorgeous are understatements with him. But the thing that captivated me the most were his eyes. They were a deep blue. Like the o-. Like the...like the...  
I was hyperventilating. Why can't I remember that word? Why can't I remember anything? I can't remember anything. I. . . can't. . .breath. . .  
"Hey, hey, breathe with me." The stranger said in a soothing voice. It was a smooth as honey and easy to get trapped in. His words were calming me down and I tried to mimic him as he took deep breaths. But I was still panicking. Then the stranger tried something else.   
His arms wrapped around me. A hug. He was so warm and I melted into the hug.   
All the while something inside me was screaming to pull away. Why should I pull away? He feels safe. I chastise myself.   
"Now, I know you're scared but, just listen to me." The stranger said. I let out a whimper when I tried to say yes. So I nodded my head into his chest.   
"Okay, my name is Lotor. I am the Prince of the Galra empire and I am also, a half Altean. I am your boyfriend. Do you know what that is?"  
I shook my head.   
"It means you and I are in a romantic and sexual relationship together."  
"Who am I?" I ask.  
"You're name is Lancelot. You go by Lance though. You're a full blood Altean. A prince in fact. My father out of revenge destroyed your home planet and killed your father. But not before he saved you, your sister, and a trusted advisor. You got separated from your sister and was sent to Earth. You were young back then. So, you used your chameleon ability to blend in amongst them. Eventually, you forgot you were Altean and your body forget how to shift back to its normal form. When you were a Paladin of Voltron. You, your sister, and the advisor were reunited. For a time you were loved then, they started abusing you. Emotionally and then physically. You and I crossed paths before but, I didn't recognize you until I saw your eyes. When I was about to come and steal you away I saw you floating in space with a broken helmet on. You would have died if I didn't get there when I did. I think you've lost your memories because of the lack of oxygen you got. Please know though I would never try to hurt you. I want what's only best for you. Now, Lance are you hungry?"  
I nod my head. I was no longer crying but, I knew if I opened my mouth I start all over again.   
"Now, you are in your Altean form so, you have to adjust to your new body. You can't eat anything just yet but, I have had the Druids make something to allow you to get the necessary sustenance you need."  
Again I gave a curt nod.   
"Alright. Let's go." Lotor said enthusiastically. Then picked me up bridal style.   
He's so warm and safe. I never want to leave.   
"Why are you so warm?"  
"Hmm? What do you mean?"  
"You're so warm. It makes me feel safe." I spoke as if I had no filter.   
"Ha, I am glad you feel that way. I did not realize I was so warm. But I'm glad it makes you happy and feel that way."  
Lotor said genuinely.   
"So...warm..." I said sleepily.   
"Lance please stay awake. You need to eat something before you go to sleep again."  
"Alright...I'll try..." I said all the while snapping my eyes open.   
Lotor sat me down and my body started screaming for his warmth and touch. Lotor left the room and I immediately wished he would come back. 

\---Lotor's POV---  
Lance was just as handsome as I remembered him. Even more. I've missed him so much. This tiny frail thing in my arms was nodding off. When I sat him down to get the food he instantly snapped awake. Smirking to myself I left the room.   
"Haggard is it done?" I asked in a demanding voice.   
"Yes. I have finished making the potion to help the boy trust you more."  
"Good. Give it here."  
I took the potion and walked back to the kitchen. Lance looked a bit scared but, when his gaze locked onto me he smiled and relaxed a little.   
"I'm sorry that took me so long. Here's the sustenance I was telling you about. Do you trust me Lance?"  
He gave me a hesitant nod.   
"Then please drink this."  
So he did. When he finished he looked at me and a strange gold glow flashed over his eyes.   
"Hey, Lance how are you feeling?" I ask.   
"I don't know." His voice had no emotion in it. But then he shook his head.   
"Do you want to go to bed?" I ask remembering how tired he was before.   
"Okay." Lance said a little too fast. I picked him up and I heard a cut off whimper escape his throat.   
"Lotor, may I ask you something?"  
"Go ahead."  
"What exactly is going on? I don't understand. What have my teammates done to me?" Lance asked me and I saw the tears well up in his eyes.   
"Hush now. I'll explain it all tomorrow. Okay?"  
"Okay."   
I brought Lance to a bedroom and laid him down on the bed. Then I turned to leave and instantly I felt something grabbed onto my sleeve.   
"Please don't leave me alone." He begged.   
"Alright. Move over." I said softly and Lance happily moved.   
I felt him curl up against my chest and in a few minutes his breaths evened out.   
"Sleep well my prince, my love. For you and I are finally together again."

\---Lance's POV---  
-le nightmare-  
I was surrounded by people I think were my teammates except their faces were all blurred out.   
"Where's Lotor?" I ask in a panicked voice. The people surrounding my were forcing me to take steps backwards and into a room. But they didn't follow me in. Instead they locked me inside.   
Airlock will be opening in tee minus 10 seconds.   
I started screaming for help.   
5...  
4...  
3...  
2...  
1...  
Then everything no longer existed.   
-  
"Lance! Oh, you finally woke up!" Lotor said smiling and his face should relief.   
"L-Lotor. I h-had a nightmare."  
"Oh, Lance I'm sorry. It's okay it wasn't real."  
"M-my teammates t-trapped me in an air-airlock and s-sent me out i-into space." I said to him while staring at my hands.   
"I'm sorry Lance that you had to relive that. You don't deserve that. Your teammates deserve to die."  
They deserve to die. They deserve to die. They deserve to die. They deserve to die.   
"You're right. They do deserve to die."  
Lotor smiled at me when I said that.   
"Do you care to join me, my prince. I plan on plotting their downfall." Lotor smiled extending his hand out to me.   
"I'd love to." I said taking his hand.


	14. Chapter 14

Hey, Deimos Ovid here, I know ya love me. Well, I'm going to put in a time skip here but, it will have flashbacks. I think. Idk. Back to the point though. It's been 2 months later. Lotor and Lance are inseperable. Lance complete trust the word of Lotor. Anything Lotor says must go. The two have also had fun in bed together. *coughs* sex. All the while Voltron mourns the loss of their comrade. But still try and soldier through with Matt trying to be the Blue Paladin.   
-Deimos Ovid   
\---Lance's POV---  
Lotor has been good to me. He has taken care of me. And treated me nicely. All I have to do in return is love and trust him. And I do. With all my heart.   
-flashback-  
"Do you trust me babe?" Lotor asked me with a blindfold in hand. I was lying on the bed wearing nothing but, boxers.   
"Yes, I trust you." I answer and Lotor smiles at my response.   
He then proceeded to tie the blindfold around my eyes. Something cold touched my skin and I shivered.   
"Lotor, may I ask what you are doing?" My voice revealed that I was a bit nervous. Lotor dragged the cold object up my leg.   
"Can't you guess what's being pressed against your skin?"  
"I'm sorry babe, I can't."  
"Pity, it's a dagger."  
When Lotor said this my body didn't tense up. I still felt at ease. Even when the dagger made its way over my heart.   
"I trust you. Always and forever." I said as I felt the blade pierce my skin  
"Aw, my love, you are so good to me. And this was a test that you have passed." I heard the dagger clatter to the ground and I felt his lips smash onto mine.   
\---end of flashback---  
"~Lance~" Lotor singsongs my name and I turn to face him. I finished getting dressed into my planned outfit for today. It was a blue suit. Just picture this, fanart not mine:

 

"~Lance~" Lotor said as he kissed my neck from behind. His arms wrapped around my waist.   
"Are you ready for today?" Lotor asked.   
"I am." I cup Lotor's face and kiss him. Turning my body to face him.   
"Oh, I can't wait to see their faces." Lotor exclaimed.   
"You look wonderful Lotor."  
"Thank you and so do you. Lance," Lotor said sternly at the end, "I want you to remember that Voltron are liars, bullies, and mean. Don't let them get to you. Alright?"  
"Yes, thank you Lotor." I say as I kiss him on the cheek.   
We walked closely together down the hallway and into the throne room. Lotor started spinning me around until he pulled me. Lotor fell back into the seat and I fell onto his lap. My long legs draped over the arm rest and I rested my head into Lotor's neck.   
"Begin the broadcasting signal."

\---Keith's POV---  
Today is the two month anniversary of Lance's death. And everyone is a complete wreck. Especially Shiro he has taken the hardest hit. He acts like he's okay and that he's the strong leader. We all hear him sobbing into the night.   
"Hey, Shiro are you going to come to breakfast? Or do you want to eat in your ro-"  
"ATTENTION PALADINS COME NOW TO THE CONTROL ROOM!!!" Allura's voice cut me off.   
Shiro's door swished open and we both sprinted down the hallway.   
\---No one's POV---  
All of the Paladins met in the control room. They were breathless and worried. The Altean princess stood with her back towards the Paladins. Allura was facing the screen, crying, and it had a signal broadcasting two people.   
Lotor and an. . . Altean. The Altean was sitting on Lotor's lap, playing with his hair and his head resting in his neck.  
"Ah good everyone is here. We can begin now." Lotor exclaimed. 

\---Allura's POV---  
"Well, my enemies, please congratulate Lance here on his rebirthing anniversary today. It's been two months since that night." Lotor said while looking back between the camera and the Altean.   
"C-Coran, it can't be. Right? He is dead." I ask Coran with an uneasy voice.   
It can't be. He's dead. How could he have survived Altea's destruction? It can't be real. He is dead. Right? Right!   
"I'm sorry Princess. But I don't know. It could be him." Coran responded.  
"Who are you guys talking about?" Shiro asked but, before I could answer the broadcasting continued,  
"Oh! Babe you remembered. You're so romantic and thoughtful." The Altean said while he hugged Lotor.   
"How could I forget? It is also the anniversary of the day we were finally reunited-"  
"Happy Anniversary." Keith said interrupting the two, "Now fuck off!"  
The Altean on the screen looked hurt by what Keith said,  
"Babe, why is he so mean? It's-It's our an-annivers-sary. Then-then he y-yelled at m-me." The Altean was about to fall into hysteria when Lotor pulled him in for a kiss. He calmed down instantly.   
"Red Paladin, that wasn't very nice. Lance here has done nothing wrong. Yet you yelled at the both of us. May you please apologize to Lance here? He didn't deserve what you said." Lotor asked while looking into the Al- Lance's eyes.   
"Whatever." Keith said then crossed his arms over his chest.   
"Lotor they're so mean. I can now fully understand what you were telling me about them. They are bullies and not heroes. You're a hero though. You saved me from them." Lance said like he was nothing but, a child.   
"What are you talking about? We've never met before." Shiro said.   
"Lotor they don't recognize me." Lance said frowning.   
"Then I guess you'll have to show them." Lotor said while resting his face against his fist.   
Lance looked back at the camera,  
"Recognize me now?" And the Altean changed into a human. Not just any human, Lancelot McLain.   
"LANCE!" The Paladins yell.   
Lance quickly changed back into his Altean form.   
"Lance, buddy, are you okay? Lotor is not torturing you? You're alright?" Hunk asked.   
"Yellow Paladin, that is so rude to say about my boyfriend. Lotor has been good to me. Unlike you guys. Lotor rescued me from all of you. Without him I would have been dead!" Lance was fuming. Lotor wrapped his arms around him.   
"Come now, Babe. It's all right I'm used to it. Don't waste your breath trying to talk to these useless bullies."  
"Alright." Lance said cheerfully.   
"Let's get back to why we're broadcasting," Lotor stated, "Team Voltro-" Shiro interrupted Lotor,  
"Lance! Lance! Listen to me. Whatever Lotor has told you is not the truth. Lotor did not rescue you. He kidnapped you and tortured you for the first week. We were then told by the Galra intel that you were dead! Dead Lance! Do you know how hard that was for us? We believed you were dead." Shiro finished yelling. 

\---Keith's POV---  
"You are right Lotor. They really are the liars you told me they were." Lance said with a face of disgust.   
"Wait, Lance do you even remember us? What's my name!?" Shiro yelled and Lance flinched.   
"Lotor can we please continue?"  
"Yes, as I was sayin-"  
"LANCE! What's my name!?" Shiro yelled.   
"L-Lotor, w-why is he-he y-yelling at m-me? D-did I d-do something wr-wrong?" Lance asked while crying.   
"Oh, Babe you did nothing wrong. Remember what I told you the Paladins are just mean. See, they made you cry." Lotor said while wiping away Lance's tears.   
"Lance, wait I'm sorry." Shiro began to apologize, "I didn't mean to make you cry."  
"But you did." Lotor said.   
"Lotor can we just kill them. Then they can no longer hurt me. Hurt us. Like you said." Lance asked innocently.   
"Hurt you? Lotor what lies have you fed him?" I growled out.   
"Lotor has told me nothing but, the truth and has been nothing but, good to me! You all on the other hand have abused me! I have the scars to prove it!" Lance yelled in defense.   
"Lance, please calm down." Lotor asked and so Lance did.   
"Abused you!? Lance those scars came from your bastard of a father, Lotor, and some from...you. You used to self harm." Shiro yelled again but grew quiet towards the end.   
Lotor looked annoyed and Lance looked confused. Then Lotor sighed and pulled out a dagger. The Galra prince brought the dagger up to Lance's throat and Lance didn't so much as blink.   
"Do I have your attention now?" Lotor asked and we all stared in stunned silence, "Good. We will be portaling to your location. You can either run or die. Decide now. I'll be nice since I have to try and make it up to Lance now, I'll give you three hours. Till then, it's been awful." Lotor and Lance ended the broadcasting signal. 

\---Lotor's POV---  
"I'm sorry Lance I didn't want to resort to that but, it was the only way I good get their attention. Forgive me?" I ask while hugging him tightly.  
"Lotor you did what you had to. And I trust you completely. I love you so much. I don't think I could have done this without you."  
"I love you too. Will you let me make it up to you?" I asked while kissing my neck.   
"Always." And we raced back to our room.   
Lance is just too for me. I love him and he loves me. Soon, we'll have it all. 

\---Allura's POV---  
After the Paladins all settled down. Mainly it was just Shiro who needed to calm down. The Paladins turned to the Alteans.   
"Allura what were you talking about with Coran earlier?" Keith asked.  
The rest of the team nodded in agreement.  
"Well...if Lance is actually Altean and that is his true form then he would have been the next in line king of Altea. My younger brother." I began.  
-flashback that Allura is somehow explaining-  
Prince Lotor, Zarkon's son, was seven when he first laid eyes on Lance. Who was nothing but an infant, barely six months old, caught the eye of Lotor. I was watching from afar and noticed how Lotor was staring at baby Lance.   
"You know," I said to Lotor from behind causing him to jump, "If you ask my father to hold Lance he'll probably let you."  
"R-really?!" Lotor exclaimed then ran off to my father's location.   
When Lotor was holding Lance he was awake and reaching his chubby hands out to play with Lotor's finger.   
"I solemnly promise you this Lance, I will love you forever." The Galra prince proclaimed.   
-few years later-  
"Lance, Allura, today is the day I decide who the future leader of Altean is. Lance though you are only seven and Allura you are fourteen. I have named Lance as the future leader. He has shown the characteristics of a natural leader and a kind king. Also, it works out this way. Lance will marry Lotor, who we all know is in love with Lance. It will help strengthen the kingdoms and make for a better future." Father stated.   
I was completely shocked. Lance was going to be king? How unfair. I am older. It is my birthright!   
"Father!" I outburst, "How can you give away what is rightfully mine?! Lance would make a horrible king and him marrying Lotor would be a bad idea!"  
"Allura, apologize to your brother! If you thought this through with your head then you would realize that once Lance marries Lotor, Lance would leave the kingdom and monarchy would fall upon you." Father yelled at me and I felt ashamed.   
"I am sorry Lance. That was rude and disrespectful of me."  
"It's okay. I forgive you. Father can we go play in the flower fields?"   
"Yes. Go right ahead."  
-few years later-  
Zarkon and Alfor's friendship was on the rocks. And today King Zarkon and his home planet were destroyed. But only one of those two were true and no one knew until it was too late. Zarkon had declared war against Alfor for the destruction of his home planet.  
"Father, please we have to find Lance and fight with the Lions."  
"No, we can't. It's alright. Lance is safe. I promise you that. Now I need to make sure you're safe too."  
"Father please we must figh-"  
Then everything went black.   
-  
"King Alfor had sealed me and Coran away in those pods. I never knew what became of Lance. I just thought that he couldn't have survived all those years. I still don't know how he survived."  
"Okay," Shiro said, "we still have another problem to deal with. How are we going to stop Lotor and rescue Lance?"


	15. Chapter 15

\---Lotor's POV---  
I made sure that every inch of Lance's body knew just how sorry I was. This reminded me of one of the nights Lance didn't trust me.   
-le flashback-  
"Lance, do you trust me?" I ask smiling. I have a surprise for him. A date on a planet full of water.   
"~Lotor~~Lotor~~Lotor~" Lance singsonged in a daze then shook his head, "Where am I? What's going on? Lotor!? Stay the fuck away from me!" Lance screamed while clutching his head.   
"That wasn't very nice." I growl out, "Before I help you trust me again. I think I'm going to punish you. It's been so long, no?" I charged forward and wrapped my hand around his throats and lift up in the air.   
"Fuck you! You walking L'Oréal commercial!"   
"Oh, this is going to be so much better then a date on a planet." I purred.   
-  
Lance's screams were ringing in my ears. I was still smiling as I scrubbed away his blood from my hands. Haggard fixed his mind again and healed him completely.   
"L-Lotor?" Lance called out to me.   
"Yes, Babe?"  
"What happened? I feel like I have been sleeping for a whole day."  
"You have been. You were running a fever and have been asleep since yesterday. I have been taking care of you since then."  
"Oh, Lotor, you're so good to me. I love you." Lance said as he walked up to me and hugged me.   
"I love you too, and I'm kind of sad I planned a date for us and then afterwards I was going to show you just how much I love you." I finish telling my story.   
"Well...maybe you still can?" Lance offered.   
Perfect.   
-end of le flashback-  
"Well, my love, I think it's time to go destroy our enemies." I said aloud as I stroked Lance's hair.   
"But you're so warm and the bed so soft." Lance murmured into my chest. I let out a little laugh.   
"Alright. I'll give you...hm...five more seconds. Five, four, three, two, one." I said really fast and scooped Lance up. He yelped and tried to grab a sheet. Tried.  
"Sorry Lancey this is your punishment for not getting up fast enough." I tease as I Eskimo kiss him.   
"I call unfair refereeing." Lance said pouting but, not fighting against me.   
"Aw, it's alright. I'll reward you with a treat afterwards."  
I had Lance slowly dress in front of me. Oh, he's so hot. If only I could have a photo of this. Okay, I need to dial down my perverted-ness  
"Come on now, we have to go witness the wormholing." I said in a rushed voice.   
"Okay."   
We then promptly made our way to the throne room.   
\---Shiro's POV---  
"Everyone know the plan?" I ask.   
"Yeah. But it's never going to work." Keith responded.   
"Trust me it will."  
A curt nod. Time for motivational speech.   
"Guys, I don't know what has happened to Lance but, he doesn't remember or trust us. So, when you do find him. Knock him out and run like there is no tomorrow."  
"Great speech." Keith said sarcastically.  
"What I do know is that the Galra is no match for us. With this plan, our teamwork, the Lions, and the ship. It will work because we deserve a win for once. Allura, Coran, Keith, Pidge, Hunk, and you too Matt, this is for us. We will get Lance back and things will go back to normal. If, sorry, when we win this battle it will be more than just a victory. It will be a statement. A statement for all to see, that the Paladins of Voltron are a unified front that will never leave anyone behind. This is for us. This is for Lance."  
"For Lance." Keith said.   
"For Lance." Hunk and Pidge parroted.   
"For Lance." Matt said.   
"For Lance." Allura and Coran said.   
Let the battle begin...

\---Lotor's POV---  
"Alright Lance," I said to him before I entered the throne room, "you know what you have to do?"  
"Yes, I am supposed to wait out here until you announce me." He responded.   
"Good boy. Wish me luck." I said while waving good bye.   
"Good luck." Lance whispers clearly nervous.   
I open the doors and walk forward until I am standing right in front of the throne.   
"Attention Galra soldiers," I announced and the room fell silent. Everyone in that room fell to a knee, "To all that are fighting today, I thank you. What you are doing this day will go down in history as the day Voltron was destroyed. Look alive, my Galra brothers and sisters, today victory and glory will shine upon you. Rise."  
So they did but, they didn't move or speak.   
"I have another announcement. I want all of you to meet my fiancé. Lance please come forward." I said while turning towards the doors I entered from. I extended my hand out. The doors opened and Lance made his way in. He looked like a prince. Lance held his head high, walked with determination, and had a smile placed on his face. Lance took my hand.  
"Hail to your new prince, Prince Lancelot, my fiancé." I announce.   
"All hail Prince Lancelot." Everyone booms.   
I lean down and whisper into Lance's ear,  
"All hail indeed."  
"I love you." Lance whispers to me.   
"And I you." I said while winking and pulling away.   
"Go to your stations." I command and all the soldiers file out.   
"Prepare to start broadcasting," I ordered as I pulled Lance onto my lap. The Altean giggled and started biting and sucking my neck.   
"Now you're just being cruel." I said smiling, "Do you want to know what your treat is now or later?" I ask.   
"I guess now."  
"When we get back to our room I got you a twin set of blades. All that training has led to this moment. I trust you to use a weapon if you need to."  
"Really!? Thank you Lotor!" Lance practically screamed.   
"You're welcome. Hey, I know you didn't get an sleep last night so if you're ever feeling tired you can go to bed. Also, if you don't want to deal with Voltron, I completely understand."  
"Thank Lotor." Lance said nodding.   
"Alright let's begin broadcasting." I said as we finished wormholing to the location. 

\---Shiro's POV---  
"Hello, hello Voltron. Miss us?" Lotor's voice boomed and the screened flickered to show Lance sitting on Lotor's lap. Stupid purple furby.   
"Have you decided to live or to die?"  
"We are going to fight. Even if it kills us. Lance, listen to me. We are going to come for you. We are going to save you! We are going to save you from this sick and twisted person!"  
"Lotor, I think I'm going to bed. I am feeling very tired at the moment." Lance said while standing up.   
"Alright." Lotor said as Lance walked out,  
"Look what you've done! I wanted Lance to be here with me and told him that if he didn't want to deal with you guys, to go to bed. I wanted to watch with him as we blow you to bits. Guess I'll punish him for that later." Lotor grumbled out.   
"Team get to your lions." I commanded.   
"Ah! Let the battle begin, no?"  
"Let the battle begin." And the broadcasting was cut.   
-  
"Come on Team! Watch each other's backs! Pidge move! Hunk watch out! Keith get back here! Matt you've got three on your tail and two more closing in!" I was yelling out orders upon deaf ears.   
"My, my Black Paladin, some team. Always fighting, no one listening, and you can't even defend yourselves." Lotor said through our comms.   
"Shiro this plan is nevering going to work!" Keith yelled.   
"Yeah! It's not working and I'm under heavy fire!" Matt agreed.   
"Yes it will! So stick to it!" I yell back.   
"Shiro...we got him..." Pidge said.   
I let out a sigh of relief,  
"Initiate phase two then."  
Pidge and Hunk's lions disappeared.   
"Got whom, might I ask?" Lotor questioned, in a bored manner; "Wait, what has happened to the yellow and green Paladins?"  
"Well, you see, Keith, Matt, and I have been deliberately fighting each other while Pidge and Hunk have infiltrated your ship. They have one task to find Lance, knock him out, and bring him back. Pidge has just informed me that she has succeeded. The yellow and green lions that were 'fighting' were actually holograms. Thank you Lotor for sending Lance off to bed that made it easier on us to find him. It's been awful." I say smirking and then retreating back to the castle.   
I then saw as the castle fired a laser at the ship and watched as it blew up.   
"Allura you go ahead and wormhole away." I said to her.   
"Alright Shiro." Allura responded.   
We did it. We got Lance back. Now, comes the hardest part though. To get Lance back to normal.   
As I exit the hanger I hear grunts and yelling,   
"Where am I?! Where's Lotor?! LOTOR! LOTOR WHERE ARE YOU?! Take me to Lotor! LOTOR!!"  
"Lance! Stop yelling. You are never going back to Lotor because we will never let that sicko take you again!" Keith yelled while looking at the others who were herding him into the corner.   
"TAKE ME BACK TO MY FINACÉ!!!" Lance screamed.   
Fiancé! What has Lotor done to you? Thank the Moon he's dead now.   
"Hey, Lance, it's me Shiro. I was wondering, did you wake up with no memory?"  
"Yeah, because you guys sent out in space and the lack of oxygen to my brain caused the memory loss! Take me back to Lotor! TAKE ME BACK!" Lance was crying. The team had him against the wall.   
"I want to go back. Please. Please take me back. Lotor is my...is my...enemy? NO! Lotor is my savior! He...he...saved me."  
Then Lance blacked out.   
"Guys, did you hear what he said?" I ask while picking him up, "Lance is still in there somewhere. I think maybe if we cold turkey this thing Lance will start to change back. Be on guard though. Who knows what Lotor has done to him."  
They all nod and I bring Lance over to his room. Wait that's Matt's room now! Where will Lance sleep now? My room?  
"I think we should all take turns and keep watch on Lance. I'll take the first watch. Can one of you guys get Coran so he can analyze and scan Lance? Also, Hunk you think you can cook?" I ask.   
"Yeah. Anything for Lance." Hunk said.   
"I'll get Coran." Keith said while leaving.   
You're home Lance. We got you back. Lance stirred in my arms and mumbled something. Then immediately started to wiggle out of my arms.   
"Lance, you're safe now. I promise Lotor will never harm or get you again. He's dead now. I watched as his ship blew up."  
"Liar." Lance breathed out.   
"I'm going to help you get better Lance.  I'm going to fix what Lotor has done to you."  
"Lotor will come for me." Lance whispered out. More for himself though.   
"I will help you get better."  
"You're not as warm as Lotor is." Then Lance jumped into action. He cupped the back of my neck and swung his body upwards and I fell to the floor with the movement. The Altean had me in a choke hold and was gripping my robot arm.   
That was a mistake.   
I heated up my hand a little bit and Lance hissed and pulled away. Dropping his tight grip.   
"I didn't want to have to use these but, I guess I have to." I said grimly.   
I placed handcuffs on Lance's wrists and ankles.   
"I hate you. You're the bully and jerk that Lotor painted you to be."  
"Go to sleep Lance," I said sighing. "I'll wake you when it's time for dinner."  
This is going to be hard. To convince Lance that Lotor is evil. But I'm going to try because you deserve so much more than what this shitty world has given you. Because I am in love with you.


	16. Chapter 16

\---Lance's POV---*before he was taken*-nightmare-  
"Lotor...I'm scared...it's dark..." I cry out. I am hugging my knees and I buried my face into them.   
"You're really pathetic Lance." A male voice called out.   
"Lotor?"  
"Who else would come to find you?" Lotor sneered.   
"Lotor I'm scared." I sniffle out.   
"Lotor this. Lotor that. Is that all you're good for? Ask me for stuff? You're really pathetic. So pathetic that you haven't realized that you're being kidnapped. Wake up!"  
\---end of nightmare---  
My eyes flutter open and I jump up to a standing position.   
"Where am I?! Where's Lotor?! LOTOR! LOTOR WHERE ARE YOU?! Take me to Lotor! LOTOR!!" I scream at the group of people who are herding me into a corner.   
"Lance! Stop yelling. You are never going back to Lotor because we will never let that sicko take you again!" The red Paladin yelled while looking at the others who were taking steps closer.   
"TAKE ME BACK TO MY FINACÉ!!!" I scream.   
Where am I? How am I here? I went to bed and fell asleep. So, how'd I get here?  
The black Paladin entered the room and made his way to us.   
"Hey, Lance, it's me Shiro. I was wondering, did you wake up with no memory?"  
"Yeah, because you guys sent out in space and the lack of oxygen to my brain caused the memory loss! Take me back to Lotor! TAKE ME BACK!" I was crying, now. Panic gripped at my heart. I felt my back lean against the wall.   
Lotor will come for me. Lotor loves me. Right? That's why he...that's why me gives me nice things and tells me nice things too.   
"I want to go back. Please. Please take me back. Lotor is my...is my...enemy? NO! Lotor is my savior! He...he...saved me." I was talking more to myself than anyone else.   
Lotor is my savior. Lotor is my fiancé. Lotor is my friend. Lotor loves me! Right?  
There was a thread of doubt in my head. I started to panic.   
Lotor will come for me. . . right? Why am I doubting Lotor? I trust him. I trust him. I trust him. I trust him?  
Then everything went black.   
You doubt the only person who's shown you kindness? Pathetic. Ingrate. Selfish. Weak.   
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.   
I was in someone's arms. "They're so cold." I mumble out. Then immediately started to wiggle out of their arms.   
"Lance, you're safe now. I promise Lotor will never harm or get you again. He's dead now. I watched as his ship blew up."  
"Liar." I breathed out.   
Lotor will never stay dead. He'll never leave me without a kiss goodbye. He said so himself.   
"I'm going to help you get better Lance.  I'm going to fix what Lotor has done to you."  
"Lotor will come for me." I whisper out more for myself though.   
"I will help you get better."  
"You're not as warm as Lotor is." Then I jumped into action. I cupped the back of his neck and swung my body upwards and he fell to the floor with the movement. I had him in a choke hold and was gripping his . . . robot arm.   
This is a mistake.   
The black Paladin's hand heated up a little bit and I hissed in pain and pulled away. Dropping my tight grip.   
"I didn't want to have to use these but, I guess I have to." He said grimly.   
The black Paladin placed handcuffs on my wrists and ankles.   
"I hate you. You're the bully and jerk that Lotor painted you to be." I told him. It was childish but, I believed what I said.   
"Go to sleep Lance," He said sighing. "I'll wake you when it's time for dinner."  
I was tired. Exhausted really. Last night Lotor needed to relax. So, I helped him and he told me to continue doing so even if he fell asleep.   
The second I closed my eyes. My grip on consciousness disappeared.   
-le dream-  
I was in a sunflower field with Lotor.   
"Do you want to play a game?" I ask.   
"Yes, I'd love to."  
"Can we play an Earth game called 'Tag'? It's a game where one person is 'it' and he has to tag the person who's not it. If you tag me I'll give you a prize too."  
"You have intrigued me. Let's play."  
"Alright! Count to ten and cover your eyes with your hands."  
"One...Two..."  
Lotor began and I ran through the field. I was smiling and I tried to mask my giggling but, I couldn't.   
"Ten!" Lotor shouted.   
"*huff* *huff* I think I'm safe." I said openly.   
Then I felt something slip around my waist and lift my up.   
"You're it." Lotor whispered into my ear.   
"Now for your prize." I said turning to face him. I cupped his cheek and kissed his lips.   
Lotor rested his forehead against mine and we both laughed.   
-end of le dream or is it a memory?-  
"Wake up Lance it's time for dinner." The black Paladin said while shaking me awake.   
My eyes fluttered open and I didn't move an inch.   
"I want to see the sunflowers again. . ." I whispered out.   
"Hm? What was that?" The man asked as he picked me up.   
"TAKE ME BACK TO LOTOR!!!" I yell and I throw my handcuffed arms around his neck and I buck forward causing him to trip. I used his loss of balance to my advantage and I flipped him. I landed on my back and so did he. Immediately I slammed my handcuffed ankles against his neck. The black Paladin let out a grunt and tried to pry my ankles off. Then the red Paladin came into the hallway. I was then promptly tackled to the ground.   
"Screw talking to him Shiro, let's get him into the memory pod!" The red Paladin yelled to the wheezing man.   
"Take me back to Lotor!" I yell at the red Paladin who was kneeling on my chest.   
"Shiro it's your call. What do you want to do? Talk to him or show him?"  
"Get Lance into a pod." The black Paladin commanded.   
"No! Just take me back to Lotor! He is my everything! He has given me everything! Why can't you see that? I love him and he loves me! Lotor has told me that a million times!"   
"Lotor doesn't love you Lance. He sees you as a pet or a toy. For example when he held a knife to your throat. The fact that you didn't flinch or bat an eye is proof that you're used to it." The black Paladin-Shiro- said.   
"So? Lotor was testing my loyalty all those times. He needed to know that what I was saying wasn't just words! He loves me. He has taken me on countless dates!"  
"Did he ask for anything after those dates?" The red one asked.   
"Are you implying that Lotor used those dates as an excuse to have sex with me?"  
"Well, I never said that. But clearly you're thinking it." The red Paladin said.   
"No! I won't believe what you're saying! Lotor...L-Lotor, loves m-me." I said while shaking my head. "He-he l-loves me. L-Lotor would n-n-never use m-me l-like th-that." I was crying. He would never right?   
Everything felt like it's spilling. Then I blacked out. 

\---Shiro's POV---  
"No! I won't believe what you're saying! Lotor...L-Lotor, loves m-me." Lance said while shaking his head. "He-he l-loves me. L-Lotor would n-n-never use m-me l-like th-that." Lance was crying now. He looked pale, his cheeks a little pink, and like the room was spinning. He then passed out and Keith got off of him.   
"Is he running a fever? He was fine just a minute ago." I question.   
"I think so." Keith responds.   
"We need to take him to Coran. I think he might know what the problem is." I order Keith.   
We both pick him up and carry him to the med bay. I lay him on the bed and Keith leaves to get Coran.   
A moment later Keith returns with Coran. The Altean asked us what happened and we told him. Coran scanned Lance and typed at the computers.   
"By King Alfor. . ." The man ran out.   
"What just happened?" Keith said it first.   
"I honestly don't know anymore." I respond with a heavy sigh.   
Allura and Coran enter the room at a brisk pace.  
"And you're sure about this?" Allura asked.   
"Yes, the scanners are never wrong." Coran responded.   
"Wait, what's wrong with Lance?" I ask my voice revealed how nervous I was.   
"Lance, has been exposed to too much Quintessence. This is his body reacting to withdraw and over exposure." Allura explained.   
"Allura, I need you to heal him like what you did on Balmera." Coran instructed.   
"I can try."  
What is even going!? Is Lance okay? Will he be alright? What even is Quintessence?  
Allura's hands started to glow and she had them hover over Lance's body. The intensity of the bright light increased. Then Lance started screaming.   
Finally the world dimmed and the screaming ceased. Lance was in human form and tears were falling out of the corner of his eyes.   
"Lotor. . . just kill me already." Lance whispered out with his eyes open and glossed open. He was talking to himself, "I will never tell you anything. I will never...n-never love you...but I have, haven't I? Oh, Saints. He...he fucking raped me. He tortured me...He abused me...but he then told me he loved me...Shiro? Shiro!?"  
"Yes, I'm here." I said snapping out of my daze.   
"Shiro? Shiro? Shiro? Make it stop...L-Lotor n-no...p-please. N-AHHHHH!!!" Lance screamed.   
He's reliving a torture episode.   
"Hey, Lance. I need you to count with me. Try and breathe. Come on, one...two..."  
"O-one...t-two..." Lance parroted.   
"Three...four...five..." I continue.   
"Th-three...f-four...five..." Lance counts.   
"Six...seven...eight..." I continue.   
"S-six...seven...eight..." Lance's breaths evened out but his eyes were still glossy.   
"Lotor why, why, why do you do this. You hurt me then say you love me. You hurt me then you rape me. Yet you still say you love me. You...you broke me and sh-shaped me to be your perfect prince." Lance was actin like he was talking to Lotor.   
Maybe he is. Maybe he thinks he's talking to Lotor right now. If that's the case then I need to think of a way to help him move on.   
"I'm sorry for what I've done to you Lance. It is unforgivable but, I'm dead now. I can no longer hurt you. You can move on. You can get better."  
"I-I can get better? How?" Lance questioned while looking at me. Err, Lotor to him.   
"Your teammates from Voltron. Shiro especially, because he understands what you're going through. And he's...and he's in love with you. Lance, listen to me one last time. Forget about me, move on. Get better."  
"I'll try." Then Lance blinked out of his daze, "The sunflowers are gone again."   
Weird. It's as if all that has just happened was like a memory to him.   
"Hey, Lance, how ya feeling?" I ask as I lightly touch his shoulders.   
"Truth? Everything I thought to be real was a lie, every lie I believed has turned out to be true, and the only thing I can really trust right now is that your real enough. And I feel like I could build from that but, my head isn't exactly right at the moment. So if none of you mind I think I'd like to sleep now." Lance said and a ghost of a smile flickered over his face. Everyone turned to leave and I was about to as well but, Lance stopped me,  
"Shiro, please stay with me."  
"Always." I said as I sat in a chair next to the bed he was in.


	17. Chapter 17

\---Lotor's POV---*before*  
The Paladins of Voltron were not at all what we were let on to believe. The green and yellow lions aren't even fighting. The black, red, and blue are doing all the fighting and arguing.   
"Come on Team! Watch each other's backs! Pidge move! Hunk watch out! Keith get back here! Matt you've got three on your tail and two more closing in!" The black Paladin was yelling out orders upon deaf ears. I was listening to their comms and watching them battle. This is pathetic.   
"My, my Black Paladin, some team. Always fighting, no one listening, and you can't even defend yourselves." I said through their comms.   
"Shiro this plan is nevering going to work!" Keith yelled.   
"Yeah! It's not working and I'm under heavy fire!" Matt agreed.   
"Yes it will! So stick to it!" Shiro yelled back.   
"Shiro...we got him..." Pidge said.   
Shiro let out a sigh of relief,  
"Initiate phase two then."  
Pidge and Hunk's lions disappeared.   
"Got whom, might I ask?" I questioned, in a bored manner; "Wait, what has happened to the yellow and green Paladins?" I question no longer feeling bored.   
"Well, you see, Keith, Matt, and I have been deliberately fighting each other while Pidge and Hunk have infiltrated your ship. They have one task to find Lance, knock him out, and bring him back. Pidge has just informed me that she has succeeded. The yellow and green lions that were 'fighting' were actually holograms. Thank you Lotor for sending Lance off to bed that made it easier on us to find him. It's been awful." Shiro mocked.   
Quiznak, was my only thought. And I ran out of the room.   
Galra resistant spies were attacking from within. I need some weapons. I can't rely on brute strength.   
The blades! I remembered.   
I run to the bedroom, snapping a few necks along the way.   
Then I heard an explosion and the entire ship shook.   
Fire and open space surrounded me. So, this is how I die? Figures. At least I'll die fighting. Forgive me Lance. I might have to break a promise to you...  
Then my world was consumed by flames...

\---Lance's POV---  
I woke up with a cold sweat covering my body. My first thought was,  
Where's Lotor?  
I looked around and saw Shiro resting his head on his folded arms against the side of the bed.   
"Shiro?" I ask and the man stirs awake.   
"Hm?"   
"Shiro, what's going on? Where am I? Where's Lotor?!" I question in a panicked voice.   
"Lance, calm down. We saved you from Lotor. We got you away. He's dead now remember? His ship was blown up. You have been on the Castle of the Lions with us for three days."  
Then it all came flooding back. The intensity of remembering it all grew to be too much. Turning so I leaned over the edge of the bed I threw up.   
Lotor's dead remember? He fucking blew up! You should be glad! That abusive, sadistic, rapist, furby is dead. You can finally move on.   
Or join him in death...  
Remember how good he treated you?  
A flood of images entered my mind.   
Lotor stabbing me, Lotor kissing me, Lotor choking me, Lotor hugging me, Lotor torturing me, Lotor loving me. 

Shiro rubbed circles on my back and was coaching me to breathe.   
"How...how could he, Shiro? He said he loved me but, he then tortured me?"  
"It was cruel and sick of him to do that to you. No one should ever have their emotions played with like that." Shiro said willing pulling me into his embrace.   
"Why would Lotor do something like that? He hated me enough to torture me yet, loved me enough to heal me. To be there for me. I don't understand. He's dead now what should it matter. Shiro, why does he still haunt me? Why is he still there?" I said aloud, my voice childlike.   
"Lance, what Lotor did to you is going to take time to heal. Lotor used mind games and abuse against you to get you to do whatever he wanted. You were vulnerable with the amnesia and you trusted the only person who was there. What you did was something anyone would have done if they were in your shoes. What Lotor did was disgusting and twisted. The damage he's done to you will need to be fixed and I'd very much like to help with that. Will you let me?" Shiro asked.   
"O-okay..." I said. 

\---Shiro's POV---*two months later*  
It's taken some work but, it's all paid off in the end. Lance has finally moved on from Lotor. Well, moved on enough to the point where he is no longer haunted by him every second. He has little to no nightmares, little to no loss on reality, and his PTSD is improving. I started him a coping method schedule. Wake up, eat, train, bond with lion, eat, train, talking it out session with Coran or myself, eat, relax, sleep.   
I'm worried though, all this hard work could easily be undone. He's still in a fragile state of mind. Like how he still can't handle loud noises, being touched without permission; excluding me, and how he also can't be alone. Not even for five seconds can Lance be left alone before falling into hysteria.   
When we try and ask him about why that is. Lance would tense, go pale, and fall into a daze. He wouldn't snap out of it until the next day.   
-flashback-  
Pidge and Hunk were cooking in the kitchen, Coran and Allura were in the control room, and Keith was with us until he stormed out clearly pissed about something.   
"Keith! Wait up! Where are you even going?" I call after him. Leaving the room. I grab onto Keith's shoulder and wrap him into a hug.   
"Keith what's going on?" I demand.   
"It's just...it's just that I never see you anymore. You spend all your time with Lance that I...well, I can't ever talk to you."  
"I'm sorry Keith. I didn't realize that I was neglecting you and the rest of the team. I'll try and spend more time with you and the rest."  
"Alright."  
"Come Keith let's go back."  
Wait...shit...was there anyone in the room with Lance...oh, quiznak.  
"Lance!" I yell and turn and start running. Keith is running right behind me cursing at himself for leaving in the first place.   
We enter the room and find Lance curled up in a ball in the corner.   
"Hey, Lance? I'm sorry we left you. How are you feeling?" I murmur to him.   
Lance had a glassy gaze and acted as if he couldn't hear or see us.   
"Lance, let's get you to bed." I picked him up and began walking to my room. Lance has been sleeping in the same bed with me since we healed him from the Quintessence poisoning.   
What happened while we were gone? Keith and I stayed with Lance the entire night. We tried talking to him but, it proved to be fruitless. So we talked to each other and caught up on what we did and didn't know.   
The next morning Lance seemed to have snapped out of it.   
"Good morning Shiro. Good morning Keith." Lance said sleepily while rubbing one of his eyes. He's so cute.   
"Good morning Lance. How are you feeling?"  
"I'm feeling fine, why?" Lance asked innocently.   
Does he not remember?  
"Well, we accidentally left you alone. When we came back into the room you were crying uncontrollably in a daze." I explained.   
Lance tense, paled, and stared off into space. Lance then processed to throw up. His breathing sped up, he was all sweaty, and he was crying again.   
"I'm sorry Lance. I didn't mean to upset you. It's alright. Shh...it's okay...shh." I comfort Lance. Keith stood up and left the room. Only to come back with food. We ate breakfast together. And we never brought up what happened.   
-end of le flashback-*still Shiro*

Allura and I have finally agreed that Lance was ready for a simple mission. Retrieve a crystal from Balmera. Matt after all was a temporary replacement, a substitute, for Lance. Blue and Lance have a bond that is unbreakable. In the last few days the two have been bonding non stop.   
I started walking to the training room. Lance and I have a training session right now. During Lance's time with Lotor. That furby fuck, taught Lance how to fight. And I mean really fight. Lance is skilled in hand to hand combat, anything with a blade, and guns. Somehow he can morph his Bayard into multiple weapons.   
I'm happy for Lance. He finally is getting better and I think today's the day I ask him to be my boyfriend.   
I enter the training room to see Keith and Lance fighting hand to hand. Keith taking to worst of it. I smile to myself because I knew Lance was holding back.   
"Lance, come on! Quit pulling your punches!" Keith yelled.  
Lance flinched.   
"Quiznak, I'm sorry Lance. I didn't mean to yell at you." Keith said in a calmer manner and no longer in fighting stance.   
"Hey guys. Keith maybe you should take a break. Lance and I will train in the mean time." I said cutting into the conversation.   
"Yeah. Sure." Keith agreed and turned to leave.   
"Lance, you know Keith didn't mean to yell at you. He was just got up in the moment and his hotheadedness took over." I told Lance who was just standing in place.  
"Lance, I have a question for you," I ask cautiously.  
"Hm?" Lance responded and turned to look at me.   
"Well, I was wondering...do you want to be my boyfriend?" My rushed voice revealed how nervous I was about this.   
"Okay." The Cuban answered.   
"Really? I'm mean, thank you," I said in a more relaxed voice but, I could keep my composure, "Thank you, thank you, thank you." I said cheerfully and wrap him into a hug.   
"You can kiss me if you want." Lance informed me.   
I didn't need to be told twice. We kiss for ten whole seconds but, it feels like forever.   
"I love you." I tell him.   
"I love you too." Lance replies.


End file.
